


I found it all on my own

by Karou001 (NicoGreyjoy)



Series: This Is My Family [1]
Category: Captain America (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Avengers Family, Brother-Sister Relationships, Canon Divergence - Post-Captain America: The Winter Soldier, Child Abuse, Chronic Illness, F/M, Families of Choice, Gen, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Implied/Referenced Suicide attempt, Jewish Bucky Barnes, Jewish Steve Rogers, M/M, Medical Inaccuracies, Mental Health Issues, Protective Bucky Barnes, Protective Steve Rogers, Rating May Change, Steve and Bucky are good dads, Underage Drinking, Verbal Abuse, Warnings May Change
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-05-29
Updated: 2017-10-11
Packaged: 2018-07-10 23:42:24
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 14
Words: 35,020
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7013245
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NicoGreyjoy/pseuds/Karou001
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Kala didn't mean for it to happen.</p><p>No really, she didn't. Sobbing hysterically over dropped groceries while her neighbor from the apartment three doors down --the one that lives with the Captain America look alike-- who she doesn't even know that well tries to comfort her had not been on her agenda when she dragged herself out of bed this morning. It's just been one of those weeks.</p><p>[Otherwise known as that time when Steve and Bucky adopted the skinny, asthmatic kid from down the hall who is too much like pre-serum Steve for Bucky's liking and DON'T YOU ENCOURAGE HER STEVEN GRANT ROGERS!]</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here I go. Back at it again with the writing. I'm kind of nervous about this. Like I almost didn't post it. Anyways, I hope you enjoy!

Kala didn't mean for it to happen.

No really, she didn't. Sobbing hysterically over dropped groceries while her neighbor from the apartment three doors down --the one that lives with the Captain America look alike-- who she doesn't even know that well tries to comfort her had not been on her agenda when she dragged herself out of bed this morning. It's just been one of those weeks.

.

All she wanted was strawberries. It wasn't too much to ask for. Just some strawberries from her favorite fruit vendor and then a long nap on her couch because that walk all the way there and back had her muscles screaming. She may have vastly overestimated her energy levels today. The broken elevator that made her take the stairs didn't help either.

The elevator had been broken for as long as she can remember. Kala hopes that there never comes a time when a quick escape down the stairs is necessary. She lives on the fifth floor and depending on the day running down the stairs may prove to be nearly impossible.

She has lived in the building since she was four, when she was shipped off by a mom who didn't want her to live with an aunt who didn't really want her either. Her aunt likes to reminisce about the old neighborhood where she had a big house with a garden and all the neighbors got together for block parties every other weekend. Kala has few memories of this place; a yellow and white room, playing hide and seek with two other little girls whose names she can't recall. But if she had to be honest, she preferred the cramped Brooklyn apartment with the window that never quite opened all the way and Mrs. Jones who always baked her cookies.

What she tries not to think about is that her Aunt Latrice hates this place and that it's all her fault the old house was lost.

Kala is reminded of that fact every day.

By the time she makes it to the top of the stairs her lungs are burning and she can hear herself wheezing. It's nothing new to Kala. Bad asthma and just being out of shape in general will do that to a person. She's also tired, shaky, and aching everywhere. Again, none of this is new. Annoying, but nothing she isn't used to feeling. She's been sick the entire fourteen years of her existence, after all. 

Telling herself that it's only a few more feet to the apartment she drags herself to the door and grabs the handle to pull it open, only for it to be slammed open from the other side, effectively sending her bags flying and her crashing to the floor. She lands on her backside on the grimy floor next to her groceries.

For a second she does nothing. Just sits there staring at the fruit that took so much effort to buy and bring home today. 

"Are you okay, kid?"

Kala looks up to see a man dressed in dark jeans and a shirt, hair falling just above his shoulders, face unshaven. He's staring down at her with a look of concern, fingers twitching. She's pretty sure she's seen him in the hallway a few times. Always with the guy who either was actually Steve Rogers or just a damn good cosplayer. 

She realizes that this is the point when she's supposed to say  _"I'm fine,"_ and reassure him that she wasn't upset about him accidentally sending her tumbling to the floor. It technically wasn't his fault. He couldn't see her behind the door and she was naturally clumsy anyways. 

Kala would have told them all this if her vocal cords hadn't seized up for some inexplicable reason. 

"Kid?" he asked hesitantly.

She's not sure why what happens next happens. Maybe it was because she wasn't feeling good at all at the moment, or the fact that Aunt Latrice had been meaner than usual this week. It might be because she's still torn up about her cat dying on Monday or the terrible report card she got in the mail. It could be a combination of all of these things, who knows? Not her. But for whatever reason, being knocked to the floor and seeing her strawberries that she wanted so bad hit the ground was the straw that broke the camels back. 

And Kala proceeded to burst into tears. 

Like gross, obnoxious sobbing. 

If she were thinking clearly she might be embarrassed about losing it in front of someone she barely knew. But in this moment she couldn't care less. The tears wouldn't stop and all she wanted to do was curl up into a ball on the floor. 

"Shit, you're hurt aren't you?" 

The man crouches down in front of her, hands fluttering around like he wants to check her over, but is too scared to touch her. 

"N-N-No," she forced out between gasps. God this was humiliating. Couldn't he just leave already. 

"Then why are you crying?" He sounds confused. 

It's an innocent question. One she can't answer right now. 

"I..I...I d-don't know!" Kala bursts into a fresh round of sobs and the man in front of her tenses.

She felt bad. Clearly this guy hadn't planned on dealing with the weird kid from down the hall who cries when she falls over like a toddler. He probably had things to be doing and people to go see, and here she was making him deal with her. 

"Okay. That's okay. We all have our bad days," he says, his voice going soft.

Kala can't tell if he's actually trying to be nice or if he's just trying to pacify the crazy girl he happened to run into. 

She hears him let out a sigh and plop down next to her. Chancing a glance in his direction, she notices he doesn't look upset or annoyed like she though he'd be. Just concerned. Sitting close enough to let her know he was there and not leaving, but still keeping a little bit of space between them like he doesn't want to crowd her. He offers her a small smile. 

"C'mere, kid." He holds out his arm, waiting for Kala to make a move or not. 

She shouldn't. All those talks about stranger danger should have her running screaming from the guy she doesn't really know offering her a hug. The guy could secretly be a serial killer or something. But a hug sounds really freaking great right now. 

Sorry Officer Greg, that lecture in first grade was good but she was so going in for the hug. 

She scooted closer to him, allowing him to wrap his arm around her tightly. How long had it been since since someone had hugged her? Kala honestly couldn't remember. But it felt nice. 

.

After what feels like hours --which is probably only ten or fifteen minutes at most-- the faucet in Kala's eyes decides to stop leaking. She's reduced to the occasional sniffle as she leans against neighbor dude's shoulder, attempting to catch her breath.

Harsh sobbing, as it turns out, wasn't great for lungs that shirk at their one job. They were currently throwing a hissy fit in retaliation. 

"Feel a little better?" Her neighbor's voice startles her out of her thoughts. She sits up, wiping at her eyes. 

"Y-Yeah. Yeah, I'm good. Um...." Kala fishes for the right words. What do you say to the guy who took time out of his day to sit on a floor that probably hasn't been cleaned since the building was built (oh god, ew, she's just now thinking about that) and let you put your tear stained, snotty face on them? "Thanks for dealing with my weirdness. You uh...give good hugs?" 

The words come out a little strained, her wheezing more noticeable than before. Wow was it her, or was the air in the room getting thin? 

His lips twitch upwards at the last part, but his expression quickly goes back to worried when he takes note of her breathing. It would be difficult to miss, what with her going full wheezer right next to him. 

"Are you feeling alright?"

"Crappy lungs. Have one job. Can't even do that." The feeling in her chest was starting to get a little painful, and Kala was one hundred percent certain that her rescue inhaler was on the coffee table and not in her bag where it's supposed to be. "I have to go...get...inhaler."

Before she can even attempt to get up on her own, the man is on his feet holding his hand out for her to grab. She takes it gratefully, allowing herself to be hauled to her feet. She is immensely proud that she manages to keep herself upright after the fact. Her legs feel like jello.

"Do you need help getting back?" 

Kala shakes her head. "Nah. I...I'll be fine. Just gotta.." she waves her hand in the general direction of the door, "like now." 

"You sure?" he asks, opening the door and ushering her through to the hallway. 

"Mhm. Thanks though. For like everything um....?"

"Bucky. You can call me Bucky." 

If she had enough oxygen coursing through her lungs to laugh, she might have. Bucky was such a weird name. And like, an old man's name. Who was named Bucky anymore except for guys who had been born in the first half of the 20th century? 

"Kala," she manages. 

She gives him a tiny smile before turning and hightailing it back to her apartment. Well, she went as fast as her unsteady legs would take her (which wasn't very fast). Kala feels his blue eyes watching her until she's safely inside, but she's too exhausted and oxygen deprived to feel creeped out. 

Grabbing her inhaler and taking a much needed puff, she falls onto the couch.

She's completely ready for this day to be over.

.

Math tests suck. 

But missing a math test and having to make it up later sucks worse. 

Three days after what she dubbed "the strawberry incident", Kala finds herself curled up on the couch under a blanket when she should be sitting in Mr. Branson's class taking her pre-algebra test. She'd actually studied this time and everything. Today could have been the day she got a grade higher than a D- on a math test, if her lungs hadn't thrown themselves into a tizzy and if she hadn't caught the plague.

Okay, maybe calling it plague was a slight exaggeration. But she still felt awful. 

Her head hurt, her chest hurt, her throat hurt, the coughing wouldn't stop, her nose was plugged and she had a weird outbreak of hives which was a thing that happened now apparently. Basically, her entire body was in revolt and she just did not have time for this today. Or any day. 

Asthma is annoying. Being sick is annoying. Missing yet another day of school is annoying. 

Kala is propped up on a couple pillows, the mask of her nebulizer (which is in the shape of penguin! How cute are pediatric nebulizers? She named it Claire) resting on her face and having her breathe in the medicine that temporarily calms her lungs when they're being little shits, but also makes her feel kind of weird. The TV is on, the volume turned down low. She's not really paying attention to it, just using it for some background noise while she lays there finishing her breathing treatment and trying not to dose off. 

Until a knock disturbs the quiet. Groaning she opens her eyes, turning to glare at the door. Seriously, it had to be right now? Maybe if she just lays still and ignores it, the person on the other side will take a hint and get lost.

_Knock knock._

Or they could just knock again, louder this time. She tosses the blanket off her, hissing at the sudden onslaught of cool air, and forces herself to stand up. This better be important. Like, world ending stuff.

Thankful that Claire was portable, Kala picks up the bird shaped nebulizer (the penguinizer??) and shuffles to the door. Her hair is a mess of frizz and curls, her pajamas are old and ratty, and the flare up on her skin can't be making her look too attractive at the moment. But maybe (not likely) she doesn't look as god awful as she thinks she does. 

She opens the door and comes eyes-to-chest with a rather large man and looks up to see neighbor dude holding a large brown bag and staring down at her with a slightly horrified expression. 

Yup, she  _definitely_ looks like the human disaster she is. And of course it's Bucky. She had been doing her best to avoid the guy after all those waterworks last Friday, still completely embarrassed about the whole thing. But now, here he was. Screw you too, universe. 

Alright, play it cool. 

"Hey Bucky," her voice is rough and muffled by the mask still attached to her face. She probably shouldn't be talking during a breathing treatment but whatever. 

He stares at her for a moment longer before speaking.

"Hey kid, I was just uh, stopping by to see how you were doing. And to drop these off." He motions to the bag with his free hand and for a second Kala swears his fingertips that are barely visible look almost like metal. She has to stop herself from blurting out the ultimate inappropriate question. 

Oh jeez. He actually walked down here to check on her _and_ he brought stuff to give to her. Now she felt like trash for trying to avoid him.

"I've definitely been better. I'm pretty sure I caught the plague," she jokes. 

Clearly Bucky did not see the humor in the situation and if possible looked even more nervous. Maybe joking about the plague wasn't such a good idea.

"Really, it's okay. This happens all the time. I'm fine-" 

The coughing fit that starts 1.2 seconds after the word "fine" leaves her mouth says otherwise. And probably does nothing to ease neighbor guy's mind. Two minutes of painful hacking later she is leaning against the door frame, head spinning and chest burning. 

"Should I call someone? Your mom? Is there something I need to do? You probably shouldn't be up moving around." 

"No, no, and yeah. Probably not." Kala is still a little breathless. "I just need to sit."

Setting the bag down, Bucky puts a hand on her back and slowly guides her to the couch. Once seated, he gently pushes her back onto her pile of pillows and covers her up with her blanket. Kala almost has enough energy to feel indignant about being tucked in like little kid. 

He crouches down in front of her. "You sure you don't need anything while I'm here?."

Kala shakes her head. "I'm good. For real this time. I think I'll just take a nap after this," she gestures to the mask and the machine, "is done."

Bucky looks unsure, but nods. Standing up he crosses the room back to the door and then into the kitchen. Briefly the thought that maybe she shouldn't be letting him wander through the apartment crosses her mind, but I mean, it's not like the guy has done anything bad. He's only tried to be helpful so far. 

She hears him rustling around in the kitchen for a moment before he comes back into a view. There's a piece of paper in his hand that he places on the coffee table next to her apple juice. She glances at the paper, and then back up at him. 

"It's my number. And Steve's too, just in case. Call if you need anything, kid."

He takes his leave after that, shutting the door behind him. She hears his soft footsteps padding down the hall. 

Kala's not sure if she'll ever feel comfortable enough to take him up on his offer.

But it still makes her smile.

.

Hours later, the sun is setting and Kala has migrated to her room. Aunt Latrice kicked her off the couch as soon as she got home, saying that she wasn't in the mood to see her face tonight. 

Aunt Latrice isn't really in the mood to see her face any night, but whatever. 

She's lying there, almost asleep, when a loud yell startles her awake.

"Who put all these damn strawberries in here!?"

Oh my god. Oh. My. God. 

And Kala can't help it. She busts out laughing. 

So that's what was in the bag. 

.

A few apartments over, Bucky Barnes is also lying in bed when his phone dings.

Reaching over he grabs it off the night stand and clicks on the new message.

_This is a ridiculous amount of strawberries. What am I supposed to do with all of them? Come on, dude!_

He can't contain his laughter either.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So that's chapter one. I'll probably continue this story. Come hang out with me on tumblr (ascarletmaximuffin).


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this update took so long! Life has been kind of crazy lately. I'll be updating more frequently from now on. Probably every Saturday or Sunday.

“Did you take your medicine?"

"Yes."

“Do you have your inhaler?”

“Yup.”

“Study for the final?”

“Um….”

“Kala.”

“I tried! Honest! It's math though. We both know I'm gonna fail.”

Bucky gives her a look, but doesn't push. He has seen her scores in math, and they were depressing. So he never bugs her too much about her pre-algebra class.

“What about breakfast? Did you eat?”

“I hate breakfast.”

He sighs, fishing around in his pocket for a moment before pulling out a protein bar and holding it out to her. "Eat," he says with a pointed look. 

Kala glares at the brightly wrapped item, but takes it anyways. He'll just jab her in the face with it until she does. Unwrapping the bar she breaks it and shoves over half of it into her mouth, chewing obnoxiously. "These things are disgusting," she says with a mouthful of said disgusting protein bar. "Why do you keep making me eat them?"

"You can't afford to get any smaller. Every time you go outside I worry about the wind blowing you away." Bucky looks at her and grimaces. "And don't talk with your mouth full. That's disgusting." 

Just for that she shoves the rest in her mouth and looks him in the eye while she finishes her breakfast, mouth open and chewing noisily. He's not the boss of her. 

He smacks Kala with his water bottle. "You are an awful child. Get inside and be someone else's problem for a while, before I have to deal with you all summer." 

She pulls a fake hurt expression at his insult, but it doesn't last long, grins breaking out on both of their faces. "Well fine. If that's how you feel."

Adjusting her backpack, she turns and heads for the entrance of the zoo that she calls her school, feeling a little less anxious about going in than normal about going inside building. 

"Have a good last day, brat."

She waves over her shoulder at him. 

.

After the strawberry incident that will never be spoken of again so help me God, and the not actually dying of the plague but holy shit do you look like a peasant dying of the plague week, Bucky had managed to worm his way into Kala's daily life and for some reason unknown to her, she was not bothered by this. Not one bit. 

Maybe it was the fact that for once in her life there was someone who was actually giving her positive attention and showing genuine concern for her well-being. Or maybe she was just lonely and the weird guy from down the hall was better than having no friends. Or both. Probably both. 

The two of them fell into a comfortable routine that she didn't know she looked forward to so much until a day without it seemed strange. 

Every morning Monday through Friday, Kala finds Bucky waiting by the entrance to their building. He claims that he always just happens to be getting back from his daily jog with his roommate at the exact time she happens to wander downstairs, but she doesn’t really believe him because a) he doesn’t look like he's been jogging, and b) Steve that may or may not be the actual Steve Rogers (she’s too shy to ask) is never with him. But she never calls him on his BS. 

He then insists on walking her to school.

Kala would admit to being annoyed the first few times he did this. She is completely capable of making it to school by herself. There is really no need for Bucky to tail her. And she told him as much the third day he did this. 

"Fine, if you don't enjoy my company I'll just go." He meant it to sound like it didn't bother him that Kala had basically told him to get lost. The hurt look on his face that he tried to hide said otherwise. She may have felt like the queen of scum after that and asked him to stay. 

She always assured him that his company was wanted every day after that. 

Even when Bucky asked her a million questions about how she was feeling, if she ate, did she get her homework done, would she be warm enough in that jacket, and so on. Scolding her when her answers were not what he wanted to here.

Kala refers to this as his overly protective mom mode. Which doesn’t bother her as much as some people might think.

She's never had one of those, after all. Just vague memories of a loud woman who flew into rages at the drop of a hat, and an aunt for a legal guardian who drank and screamed a lot. So having a “mom friend” is probably the closest she’ll ever get. 

After school, Kala usually runs into Bucky out front of the building again. He greets her with a smile and a wave, and no matter how shitty of a day she had, it always made her feel a little better that someone was actually happy to see her. 

The two of them would hang out on the steps for a while (as long as it’s not raining because “You’ll catch your death out here! And then what? I’ll only have Steve to annoy”), talking about their days or not talking at all on the days Kala didn’t feel like speaking. 

They would eventually part ways until Bucky showed up at her door with a plate of whatever he and Steve had for dinner. 

"I don't need this," she would say, trying to ignore the sounds her stomach was making because Aunt Latrice had already spent this weeks grocery money on vodka and had stolen the small amount of money Kala had to get more. Which translated into an empty refrigerator. 

"Oh, come on. Please? I walked all the down here." he would say with the most pathetic puppy dog eyes she had ever seen. 

“You live three doors down. It ain’t that far.”

Puppy eyes intensify. 

A sigh. 

“Fine.”

She always takes the plate. 

At the end of the night just when she was getting ready for bed, she always received a "Goodnight, sleep tight, don't let the bedbugs bite" text. Which was half joking half serious considering the owners of the building neglected everything and a few apartments had complained of bedbugs recently. 

Weekends were slightly different, with walks to school replaced with Bucky wandering up to the roof to join her for a few hours. Usually she sat up there alone with no one to talk to but the pigeons she named. And really, how desperate for companionship do you have to be to name and talk to pigeons? At least Bucky didn’t look too weirded out when she would start a conversation with Dave and Carol and accept their various coos and noises as responses. 

Kala truly looked forward to the little routine they had going on, which is why when she came home from her last day of middle school and her favorite neighbor was nowhere to be found, it was a little upsetting. 

.

It’s the fifteenth of June and Kala is officially free from Smith Middle School and moving onto the Brooklyn Fine and Performing Arts Academy. The art high school she's been freaking out about since fourth grade. Which is great because she’s completely over Smith Middle and the heathens that run through its halls throwing paint at people as a goodbye present. 

Her eyes are red and irritated from the pail of purple paint she took to the face. The stuff covered her hair and her favorite white shirt. One of two nice looking shirts she owned. Her art project, which was one of the assignments that got her into BFPA and had taken her over half the semester to perfect, wasn’t spared either. Completely ruined. She also managed to scrape up her hands and knees when she flailed around and fell over, temporarily blinded by the paint. 

Today has been a complete disaster and she couldn't wait to complain about it to Bucky. 

Only when Kala rounded the corner and her apartment building came into view...he wasn't there. 

The steps were empty and she didn't see him anywhere else around the entrance. She came to a stop in front of the steps, feeling very confused. He was always there. He had never missed a day. There would have been a phone call or a text if he wasn't going to show up. Bucky wouldn't just not be there. Maybe he was just running late and if she stayed there for a few minutes he would come. 

Five minutes of awkwardly standing there and looking around later, he still hadn't shown up and Kala may be feeling a little panicky. This was  _not_ how this worked. This was not part of the routine. 

And okay, maybe she was being a little weird about it. Bucky was a grown man with his own life and could make his own decisions. He was allowed to not be here if he didn't want to be. He wasn't obligated to pay attention to some kid every day. It wasn't his job. Besides, she wasn't that great anyways. She was annoying. Kala wouldn't blame him if he just decided he didn't want to hang out with the little brat from down the hall. 

But it still stung a little that he didn't show up. 

Okay, a lot. 

This is why she didn't have friends. She got too clingy and attached and it scared them away and  they never wanted to see her again. 

Suddenly the burning in her eyes wasn't just from the paint earlier.

Kala was so lost in her thoughts that she didn't even notice the person approaching her from behind. 

A hand on her shoulder. "You alright, kid?" 

The shriek that comes out of her mouth may or may not sound like a pterodactyl screeching in rage. If you ask her about it, she will deny ever having made that sound. Whirling around she comes face to chest with someone whose bicep is roughly the size of her entire head. And she only knew one person with muscles that big. Steve-the-roommate-who-may-or-may-not-be-Captain-America-who-knows-not-her-cause-she's-too-chicken-to-ask. 

His blue eyes are staring at her with worry.

"I'm fine," she said a bit too quickly, looking away. Wow, has the ground always been this interesting to stare at? 

He's quiet for a moment and she shuffles her feet nervously, fighting her instinct to turn and flee. 

"You're Kala, right? Are you sure you're-"

She doesn't give him time to finish. "I'm fine. Really. I gotta go."

Kala turns and books it into the building, not looking back when Steve calls out to her. She just wanted to leave. This is probably rude, like major rude behavior, but she doesn't care. 

Today has been a disaster. 

.

Flopped on the couch, staring blankly at the TV, and ignoring the world around her was how Kala planned the spend the rest of her night. Her eyes were still irritated and her hands and knees were bruised and sore so she's not really too keen on doing anything at the moment. 

Her aunt took off with David, her on again off again boyfriend. She would probably be gone for at least the weekend, longer if Kala was lucky. She was used to being on her own anyways. Aunt Latrice didn't exactly like spending time with her, and the feeling was mutual. 

She was into her fourth episode of Project Runway when there was a knock on the door. 

Oh lord, please don't let that be her aunt home already. Her day's already been complete crap. Lets not make it worse. 

Kala pushes herself off the couch and walks to the door. Please, let this be a polite burglar and not an Aunt Latrice who forgot her key. She will gladly let them take whatever they wanted as long as her aunt didn't come home early. 

Opening the door, she was surprised to see that it was not her aunt or a burglar who was kind enough to knock instead of just busting the door down, but Steve. Steve who she had been so rude to earlier, holding a plate of food. 

"Um....hi?" 

"Hey, um, we haven't really met yet but I'm Steve."

"Kala."

"Yeah, I know. Bucky talks about you a lot."

"He does?" She can't help but sound a little hopeful. Maybe he doesn't not like her after all. 

Steve smiles at her. "Course he does. All the time. You should have heard him bragging to Sam and Nat yesterday about you getting into that fancy art school." 

She could feel her face heating up and looked away. He actually bragged about her to his friends. No one ever bragged about anything she did. Usually the adults in her life just complained that she was there at all and hoped she'd just disappear. And who were Sam and Nat? 

Steve's voice brings her out of her thoughts. "So, I brought you this," he gestures to the plate. "Don't worry, I didn't make it. Bucky would probably be upset if I poisoned you."

Kala glances at the plate then back at him. "Is your cooking really that bad?"

His expression turns sheepish. "I'm pretty sure I burned water once." 

She can't help but laugh at that as she takes the plate. "Then tell whoever made this thanks. You know, for not letting me die of food poisoning." 

"I'll be sure to tell Sam when I see him tomorrow." 

They stand there awkwardly for a moment, neither one sure what to say. So Kala takes this moment to ask the question that's been bugging her since she got home. 

"Is Bucky okay?"

"What?" Steve is startled by her question.

Before she can stop herself she's rambling. "Bucky. He's always there when I come home from school and he wasn't there today and usually we hang out but like he has his own life so I shouldn't expect him to like always be there but he normally is and he didn't call so is he okay or-"

"Kala. Kala! He's fine." Steve stops her before she can keep going. "He had to leave at the last minute this morning. He'll be back."

"Oh," she lets out a sigh of relief. "Okay." 

Steve looks at her for a moment and his expression goes soft. Smile back on his face. She blinks.

"What? What's that look for?"

He shakes his head. "Nothing. Nothing." He straightens himself up. "Well, it was nice to finally meet you. I should be going."

"Right, um, bye then. Thanks for the food."

He nods. "I'll see you around, Kala."

She watches him go then backs into her apartment, closing the door with a soft click. 

There were two things she was certain of after that conversation. The first being Bucky didn't decide that she wasn't worth his time afterall. Yay. The second, Steve had more muscle mass than any human being should possess. And he was probably, most definitely,  _that_ Steve Rogers.

Christ on a cracker she had just met Captain America. 

.

Five days into summer vacation and Bucky still hadn't returned from wherever he had run off to. 

She's decided it's probably some top secret mission in an undisclosed location. That sounded like something a pal of Captain America's would be doing. Off fighting super villains and saving the day. 

It's a bright, humid day. Humid enough to send her lungs into a tizzy, but she's ventured up to the roof anyways. Aunt Latrice came home today and brought David with her. Apparently he was moving in with them. She didn't really want to be in the same apartment with him more than she had to. He gave her the creeps, and was as nasty to her as her aunt was. If the split lip and bruises jaw she was sporting had anything to say about it. 

Kala's not quite sure who she pissed off up in heaven, but whatever she did wrong, she would like to apologize. 

Sighing, she tosses her sketchbook down and flops backwards. What is her life?

When she was little she would sometimes imagine that she had real parents out there who loved her and would one day show up and take her away and they would live happily ever after. But lets be honest, life isn't a fairytale and Kala would never be that lucky. 

She stays like that for a while, staring up at the sky and wallowing in self pity, until the door to the roof opens. Glancing over she sees a familiar person making his way towards her. 

"Hey Steve," she greets, not bothering to move from her position. 

"Hey kiddo." He sits down next to her. "How ya doing?"

"I'm alive."

 He frowns. "Rough day?"

"Hm," she agrees. 

A pause. "Is this the part where I ask if you want to talk about it?"

"Yes it is. And no, I really don't want to." 

"Okay."

"Okay."

They sit in silence, staring up at the clouds. It's peaceful. It's relaxing. She can forget about her problems for a moment and just enjoy the company of someone who doesn't hate her guts. It's not Bucky, but Steve's a nice dude too. Of course this peaceful moment doesn't last.

"So...I heard a lot of yelling this morning."

"Ugh, Steve. I told you I don't want to talk about it. You're throwing off my groove."

"I know I just- wait, I'm what?"

"My groove. Throwing it off, you are. It's a movie reference." 

"Kala, I'm just concerned-"

"Really. It's fine. Nothing out of the ordinary. Happens all the time. I'm surprised you don't hear us more often." Kala turns her head to look at him. She smiles, trying to reassure him, but it turns into a grimace when it pulls at her lip. Ouch. She forgot about that. 

Steve's eyes narrow when he finally gets a good look at her face. "What happened?" he demanded. 

Damn. Damn. Double damn. 

"I fell."

The look she receives for that seems to say "Is that the best you can do kid? If you're going to lie to Captain America at least make it a good one." 

"I fell. That's it. I'm like the clumsiest person in Brooklyn. Just ask Bucky. Do you know how many times he's had to stop me from falling on my face? Neither do I. I'm not exactly keeping track but it's probably a lot." Kala is aware that she is nervously rambling and it's probably not helping her case. 

Steve stares at her for a moment longer, and she starts to get a little anxious. 

"Really. It's okay. I promise," she says in a small voice. 

He sighs, turning away from her. "Alright. If you say so." 

The remainder of their time on the roof is spent in an uncomfortable silence.

.

That night when Kala is getting into bed her phone rings. She doesn't bother checking the caller ID before picking it up.

"Hello?"

_"What's this I hear about you getting punched in the face?"_

She nearly drops the phone in surprise. 

"Bucky!?"

_"No, it's the Easter bunny. And I repeat, who hit you so I can come home and hit them."_

She groaned. "Have you been talking to Steve? I told him I was fine."

_"Kala. Someone hit you."_

"I _fell_. That's it."

_"Kid, that's bullshit and we both know it-"_

"I'M FINE. Can you both just drop it!" It comes out louder and harsher than she intends. But she really doesn't want to talk about it. It wasn't that big of a deal. It was a just a busted lip and a bruise. And she had been egging David on so it was kind of her fault anyways. At least, that's how she saw it. 

The line is silent for a moment, and then Kala hears him sigh. 

_"Okay."_

She lets out a breath she hadn't realized she'd been holding. "Kay."

A pause. 

"I miss you," she says. 

A sharp intake of breath.

_"I miss you too, kid."_

Kala falls asleep listening to Bucky talk about his and some woman named Natasha's trip to Greece.

 

 

 

 

 

 


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry this is late!

Being locked out of your apartment sucks.

Being locked out of the apartment building sucks worse. 

Being locked outside in a thunderstorm while your Aunt sits inside and ignores your phone calls is like level seven suck. 

It's eleven thirty at the night, dark and stormy. And here Kala sits on the front steps of her building getting soaked and praying that she's not unlucky enough to get struck by lightning. She would be inside right now, if David hadn't demanded she give him her key before he took off to who knows where. 'I'll be right back to let us in' turned into 'yeah I'm going to the bar with my friends see if your Aunt will let you in.' Which they both knew wouldn't happen. 

The intercom thing that unlocked the door from the apartment hadn't worked in years and Aunt Latrice would never make the journey downstairs just to let Kala in. She was too lazy for that. So basically it meant camping out on the steps in the rain until David dragged his butt home.

Yay. 

If she was lucky another tenant would leave or come home and let her in the building. Her Aunt probably wouldn't unlock the door to the apartment but at least she would be dry in the lobby. But Kala has never been lucky. 

With a sigh she flops back on the steps and looks up at the sky, flinching at a particularly loud clap of thunder. 

It's gonna be a long night. 

.

Upon waking Kala notices a few things are off. 

Like the fact that she's wrapped in a warm blanket laying on a suspiciously comfortable surface when she's sure she fell asleep on concrete steps. And that she's in what she assumes is a living room that she hasn't been in before. 

She has no idea how she got here.

Is this the part when she starts to panic?

"Normally yes, but you can relax this time."

Oh good, that's good. Wait, is she talking out loud?

"Yeah, you do that a lot," the familiar voice pipes up against from somewhere to her left. It almost sounds like-

"Bucky!?"

Kala bolts up and looks in the direction the voice came from. Bucky is leaning against the wall, arms crossed, an amused smile on his face. 

"Hey kid."

"When did you get home?" She attempts to get up and run to him but only succeeds in getting into a fight with the blanket. Spoiler alert, the blanket is victorious and sends her crashing to the floor. 

"It attacked me. It's not my fault," she says glaring up from her place on the floor at the older man who is trying to contain his laughter. 

"Of course it did," he says, grinning. "I mean, it's not like you're the biggest klutz I've ever met or something."

"I'm glad we can agree on this." 

The two of them look at each other for a moment before they both start cracking up. 

"What am I gonna do with you, brat?" Bucky asks after he regains his composer, walking over and carefully yanking Kala to her feet, pulling her into a tight hug. 

She shrugs. "I dunno. Trade me in for a less clumsy kid?" she answers, half joking half serious. 

Bucky is quiet, and for a moment Kala is afraid he really is considering trading her in, but then he shakes his head, ruffling her dark curls. 

"Nah, you'll do. Now come on, Steve made breakfast. If I have to die of food poisoning so do you." 

"Gee, thanks."

"And," he gave her a pointed look, "you can tell me why I found you sleeping outside. At two o'clock in the morning. _In the rain_." 

Oh crap. 

. 

The breakfast table is tense.

Kala is doing her best to ignore the looks that Bucky and Steve are giving her. 

"So your aunt's boyfriend took your key."

"Correct."

"And your aunt had her phone turned off and didn't get your calls?"

"Yes." Lie. She never has her phone off. Aunt Latrice was probably hoping that if she ignored her, Kala would wander off and never return.

And Kala had thought about it before. Even tried to do it. She once spent two months in Central Park until her health issues got the best of her. A trip to the hospital and a few lies to the police about her being a "disturbed delinquent" from her aunt (because of course Latrice is never the problem) and she was right back at home. 

"And instead of calling Steve, who was home and would have let you in, you decided to just sleep outside in the rain and wait? What if you get sick! What if someone kidnapped you!" 

"Hey, it wasn't that bad. And I didn't want to bother Steve."

Bucky's glare intensifies, if that's even possible. 

"Really, it wasn't. You should try Central Park in winter. Now that sucks," she jokes. 

Steve chokes on his orange juice. "Why were you sleeping in Central Park!? When the hell was this?"

Okay, maybe mentioning that wasn't her brightest idea. 

"Look man, fifth grade was a rough time-"

"Fifth grade.  _Fifth grade_." Bucky's metal hand looks like it might be close to ripping off a piece of the table. 

"But it's all good now. I'm fine. I wasn't kidnapped. And I'm always sick anyways so, it's okay."

Kala picks at her eggs while doing her best to ignore the two men at the table. She really doesn't want to talk about this. She just want to enjoy breakfast with her two favorite people before she has to go back down the hall to her aunt's place.

Steve and Bucky share a look, but don't ask anymore questions. 

The table is silent for about five minutes until Bucky speaks. Obviously trying to lighten the mood. 

"You still talking to those idiot birds?"

"Dave and Carol are precious! Don't insult my pigeons!"

"They're a goddamn menace is what they are!"

"You two are ridiculous." 

. 

It's the 4th of July so of course Captain America's birthday had to fall on that day. 

It's also the first time Kala gets to meet Bucky and Steve's friends. 

She had been spending more and more time at the Barnes & Noble (ha!) residence than her own since the morning she woke up on their couch. Mostly because they keep insisting she come over and if she doesn't show up they come looking for her. 

So to make things easier --and to avoid an unwanted confrontation between them and her Aunt-- she just shows up at their place every day and hangs out. 

Today, hanging out means celebrating Steve's birthday with a few of their friends. 

Kala has a vague idea of what goes on at birthday parties. She's seen enough movies and heard people talk about them to know what you were supposed to do. But she's never had one of her own, or been invited to anyone else's, so she was no expert. 

But though she was no expert, she was sure that party games were not supposed to include "Land the Knife on the Assassin". There was a crudely drawn picture of a man dressed in ninja gear taped on the door and a small table of throwing knives next to it. 

For her safety, and the safety of those around her, she would be staying far away from them. 

There are many things that Kala can do, and many things that she can't. Throwing knives without taking out her eye or someone else's falls under the category of things she can't do. She had a horrifying vision of herself as that kid from A Christmas Story.  _'Oh God, I stabbed my eye out!'._

No thank you. 

According to Bucky the game was made by Natasha, who would be back with Sam and the cake any minute now. 

"You'll like her," Steve assures her. "And Sam. They're excited to meet you." 

"Okay," she says, not really understanding why they would be excited about meeting some kid.

A few minutes go by before the door bangs open, making Kala jump. A petite red-haired woman dressed in jeans walks in followed by a taller man with skin a few shades darker than Kala's carrying a large white box. 

"We're back! Sorry it took so long the woman in front of us- oh, hey!" 

The man, who she assumes is Sam, stops abruptly when he sees Kala sitting wide-eyed on the couch. He smiles, setting the box down and extending his hand to her. "Sam Wilson. You must be Kala."

His smile is bright and his eyes are kind, and it eases her anxiety a little bit. 

Kala takes his hand and lets out a squeak that sounds somewhat like "hi". 

"It's nice to finally put a face to the name after hearing so much about you."

She can feel her face heating up. 

The woman is standing back, looking at Kala with an unreadable expression on her face. She's not sure if she should say hello or run. This was the one who thought knife games were fun and Kala didn't like the way she was staring at her. She's pretty sure this woman could kill her in about ten different ways with a spoon.

After a moment, the red-head nods to herself and smiles. 

"Natasha," she says moving towards her and offering her hand, "and you're as adorable as James said you'd be."

Kala huffs, suddenly feeling a lot less shy. "I am not adorable!" 

.

Steve, as usual, was right. 

Natasha "call me Aunt Nat" Romanov is by far the coolest woman she's ever had the pleasure of meeting. She spent the the day annoying the boys, braiding Kala's hair, and teaching her how to say terrible things in Russian. 

Aunt Nat was impressed by how fast she picked it up. Steve gave them both the stink eye every time she mastered a new phrase. Aunt Nat also liked the card that Kala made for Steve. Which featured a group of a patriotic fossilized dinosaurs standing behind a sign that read "You're Old!". 

There was even a very brief knife throwing lesson, which ended in Kala nearly maiming the landlord who took that exact moment to open the door without permission and Bucky forbidding her from ever playing the game again on account of her being the biggest klutz this side of Brooklyn who was going to take her goddamn eye out and he wasn't having it! 

See, she shouldn't have touched them. 

Sam is also pretty cool. Kind of like Uncle Rodney, who she lived with for a while until he passed away and she got sent back to Latrice. He seemed genuinely interested in what she had to say, and pretty impressed with her art. 

"You should paint something for the VA," he tells her.

Kala nearly spit out the soda she was drinking. 

"Who, me?" she asked. 

"Yeah, something bright. Help cheer up the place."

She glances over at Bucky and Steve who were smiling at her encouragingly.

"Yeah. Yeah, I can do that." 

Towards the end of the evening they gather around Steve to sing happy birthday and dig into pieces of blue frosted cake. 

All in all it's been great, and Kala is having one of the best days of her life. 

But of course, as always, the good moments never seem to last. 

"Kala Mulligan!" 

Fucking hell. 

Loud banging on the door. 

"Kala I know you're in there! Let's get a move on, we have places to be!"

The room falls silent and the four adults eyes shift from the door to Kala. 

"You don't have to-" Bucky starts.

"No, it's okay. She'll just get louder and...yeah. I gotta go you guys," she sighs. 

Stupid Latrice. 

"I can get rid of her. It wouldn't be an issue," Nat says, a strange glint in her eye. 

Kala shakes her head and stands up. "Really, it's okay. I'm gonna go. I'll see ya'll later. Happy Birthday Steve." 

Bucky looks angrier than she's ever seen him. 

She slowly shuffles to the door, not wanting to leave but not really having a choice. Her Aunt would cause a major scene if she didn't get her butt outside immediately and she didn't want to do that to Steve on his birthday. 

Stepping outside she finds a livid Aunt Latrice who lays into her as soon as the door shut and drags her down the hall by her arm, fingers digging into her skin hard enough to bruise. 

At least she had some fun today. 

.

Later that night as Kala's laying in bed, listening to her Aunt and David argue and wondering how long it would be before he was gone and another, creepier guy took his place, her phone went off. 

Which is strange because she is pretty sure the bill for her phone hasn't been paid yet. 

But it buzzed. Once, twice, three times. 

Curious, she picks it up and looks at the screen. The first message is from a number she doesn't recognize. But it isn't hard to figure out who it is.

_You, me, and Barnes & Noble. Tomorrow. Museum of Natural History. Steve should feel right at home :) - your fav aunt_

She smiles slightly. 

_Apparently we're going to the museum tomorrow? See you then!_

Steve.

And finally, Bucky.

_Goodnight kiddo. See you tomorrow. P.S I paid your phone bill. How else am I supposed to send you those meme things?_

Kala felt like crying. 

She really doesn't deserve Bucky and his friends. She doesn't understand why they care so much. She's just the stupid kid from down the hall who has breakdowns over fruit and loses fights to blankets. There isn't anything really special about her.

So why did they care?

Sending out quick replies she puts her phone on do not disturb and rolls over, pulling the blanket up around her. 

As much as she loves her new friends she knows it's not going to last. Her luck always runs out, no matter how much she wants something to work out.

But she would enjoy it while it lasted. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't feel as good about this chapter as the first two, but I wanted to get something out after so long without updating. I'll most likely post another (better and longer) chapter this weekend. Until then!


	4. Of Boys and a Slip of the Tongue

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys! I'm finally back. Life kind of sucks right now and I wasn't up to writing. But I'm trying to get back into the swing of things. So without further ado, here's chapter four!
> 
> Hope you like!

If you were to ask Kala, “Do you like anyone?”, the answer would be an automatic no. Romance? Ain’t nobody got time for that. Especially when it concerns that dorky boy from Queens she somehow keeps running into.

Nope, definitely not. He’s a complete loser.

A waste of Kala’s time.

So when he happens to walk into the museum gift shop just as she was walking out, Kala definitely does not turn into a stammering, blushing mess.

That doesn't happen at all.

“Oh, hey! It’s you again! What’s up?”

Queens looks the same as he always does. Tall and lanky, dressed in jeans, a t-shirt with some science reference she didn’t get, and worn out converse. Same goofy smile plastered on his face.

How dare he exist at the same place and time she was currently existing.

“H-Hey! Um, just hanging out with my….friends? Yeah, friends. What are you doing here? I mean, of course I know why you’re here. Museum. You were probably looking at stuff. Because that’s what you do in a museum. Look at old stuff...”

Smooth, Mulligan. Real smooth.

He laughs, running a hand through his hair. “That is what museums are for.”

Kala giggles nervously, not entirely sure what to do next.

They stand there for a moment longer, staring at each other. Neither one says a word, or makes a move to leave. The silence and the staring become too awkward for Kala to handle.

"Well, I uh, should be going. I have to get back to..." she waves her hand in the direction she left Bucky, Steve, and Natasha in.

"Yeah, of course. You're here with friends. Shouldn't keep 'em waiting."

"Yeah, I really shouldn't."

They are both fidgeting, but still not making an effort to move. Finally, he speaks.

"I'll see you around then?" Kala is sure she is imagining the hopeful tone in that question.

She gives him a small smile. "See ya around."

“Alright. Later, Brooklyn.” He grins broadly, wandering off into the gift shop to buy himself --someone else?-- something. She isn't sure why she cares. It's none of her business. Kala turns to make her way back to her group and freezes.

It turns out they had not waited for her outside. All three were standing there, watching her. They had seen the whole exchange.

Lord, take her now. She's never going to live this down.

Natasha has a smirk on her face, and is looking at her knowingly. Steve is looking somewhat confused between her and the retreating form of Queens. Bucky, on the other hand, looks like he is contemplating homicide. His glare is burning a hole through Queens' back. And she really doesn't like the way his metal hand is twitching.

Ooh, boy.

.

Kala’s never told anyone about Queens before.

Mostly because she’s never had anyone to tell anything to. She really has no friends, and no family who would actually care. Her aunt didn’t speak to her more than she had to.

But also because she kind of thought of Queens as just hers. She didn’t want to share him with anyone. Not really.

Was that weird? Probably.  

The first time they met was about a year ago.

Kala had fled the apartment after a particularly terrifying encounter with one of Aunt Latrice’s friends.

She had no idea where she was. Her surroundings stopped being familiar hours ago. Kala hadn’t been paying attention to where she was going, she just had to get away.

It was starting to get dark when she had been forced to stop. Tired and sore, she curled up in a ball on the nearest park bench and let the reality of her situation sink in.

She was alone, in an unfamiliar part of New York. No phone, no money, no place to go. She had been in this situation before, and had been even younger then. But it didn't make it any less terrifying. Especially in a new place. But this bench was better than what was back at home. If she could really even call that place home. Sometimes she wondered.

Closing her eyes, she contemplated the pros and cons of falling asleep on the uncomfortable wood. Kala was exhausted. But anyone could just walk up on her and-

“Hey, you okay?”

Her eyes flew open and she found herself nose to nose with….a boy.

A boy she had never met before who was uncomfortably close to her face. 

Bolting up she let out a scream that sounded somewhat like a baby pterodactyl in distress, instinctively trying to punch him. 

"Whoa, chill out!" the boy exclaimed, easily catching her fist. "I was just seeing if you were alright. Geez!" 

"You shouldn't sneak up on people like that!" 

"At least it was just me. You were sleeping on a bench in a park. It could have been anyone!" 

"I don't even know you! You could be a serial killer for all I know!"

"Uh, no? I'm just Peter."

"....What?"

"Peter. My name's Peter."

"Oh." 

Kala forces herself to calm down, taking a good look at the boy in front of her. He was taller than her, like most of the population, with short brown hair and brown eyes. A pair of glasses sat on his nose. For some reason she felt like she could trust him. Kala was pretty good at reading people, and she wasn't feeling anything weird about him. Besides, he was kind of cute...in a nerdy way. 

"How about you?" his voice jarred her out of her thoughts.

"Huh?"

Peter raises a brow. "Your name."

"Kala."

"Kala. That's a...a nice name," he stammered, giving her a small smile. And Kala couldn't help but smile back. 

.

"So that boy. He's your....friend?" Bucky asks slowly.

Kala glances up from her from her fries. "Kinda? I guess. We know each other." 

The four of them are cramped together in a small booth at Kathy's, the diner that she's been coming to since she was little. Kathy is a nice woman and always insists on giving Kala her meal on the house, even when she actually has money to pay for it. And the food is delicious.  

"And how well do you two know each other," he continues, not taking his eyes off her. 

"We talk, and sorta hang out sometimes when we bump into each other. Why?"

Bucky is silent for a moment. 

"You like him?"

Kala chokes on her food. 

"Buck! You can't just blurt stuff like that out!" Steve says, giving him a look. "But really, do you? Is he your boyfriend?" he asks, turning back to Kala. 

"This conversation is NOT happening! No. No no. We are not talking about this." 

"Oh God, Steve. They're an item." Bucky has a horrified expression on his face. "How did we miss this?"

She can feel her face heating up. "We are most certainly not an item." But her words fall on deaf ears. 

"Just look at her face, Steve!"

"Well I think the two of them look cute together," Natasha cuts in with a smirk on her face. "Myshka, you should have introduced us to your boyfriend sooner."

"But we're not dating," she whines, sinking down in her seat. She wishes the floor would open up and suck her down. Anything to escape this situation. Why does she hang out with these weirdos again?

"We don't even know anything about this boy! He could be a drug dealer for all we know.'

"Peter is not a drug dealer," Kala says, annoyed that they would think she would make nice with criminals. 

"Oh, so his name is Peter," Natasha says, smirk widening. "Tell us more about  _ Peter _ ."

"Aunt Nat!"

.

Kala is proud of herself.

She held out against all three of them. They got nothing out of her about her not-boyfriend. Although she has a sneaking suspicion that when Natasha left to “take care of business” she was really running the world’s most in-depth background check on Peter. 

Bucky was still giving her the look and mumbling about how awful teenage boys were. 

There was probably no chance of her ever dating anyone. Any boy or girl she brought home would run screaming once confronted by the combined force that is Bucky, Steve, and Natasha. Or be found dead behind a dumpster. 

“Nah, we’d dispose of the body carefully. They wouldn’t find anything.”

Dammit. She had to stop talking out loud.

.

The cab ride home is spent in comfortable silence.

Kala is squished between Bucky and Steve, her head on Bucky's shoulder. It had been a long day and she was doing her best to fight off the sleep demons. They would not win this time. The three of them were supposed to watch Star Wars once they got back. Apparently neither one of them had ever seen it and it was Kala's civic duty to make sure that they experienced it. 

That and it gave her an excuse to go back to their apartment and "accidentally" fall asleep there. She knew they wouldn't move her, which meant she didn't have to go back down to Aunt Latrice's place for at least one night. 

Sometime's she wishes she could just move in with them, but she's not sure how they would react to that kind of request. 

Sure they liked her. They had to if they could tolerate hanging out with her all the time. But they probably didn't like her so much that they would just be like 'yeah, kid! Guest room's all yours. Move on in!'. Kala doesn't want to invade their space more than she already has.  

She sighs, scooting closer to Bucky and letting her eyes fall shut. Life sucked sometimes. 

The next thing Kala knows she’s lying on an unfamiliar bed and someone is tucking a blanket around her. 

“Huh? What’s-”

“Shush. Go back to sleep, brat.”

“M’not a brat." 

Bucky chuckles, covering her with another blanket. “Just sleep. We can argue about that later.”

“Kay. G’night, dad…” she mumbles sleepily, already drifting off. 

.

If Kala would have been more awake she would have realized what she just said.  She also would have seen the shocked look Bucky’s face.

"G'night, kid. Sleep tight," he said, still not quite believing what he just heard.

He turned and walked to the door, flicking off the lights as he went. 

Glancing back at Kala one last time before exiting the room, he couldn't help the smile that formed on his face. 

And it staid there the rest of the night. 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Working on chapter 5 right now. I promise it won't take months this time.


	5. School and Shawarma

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Finals are over and I have two weeks off of work. Which means more time to write!

It was three o'clock in the morning, and all Bucky Barnes wanted to do was sleep.

He had just returned from a two week assignment in Eastern Europe that went wrong in every way possible, and he had to be up early to take Kala to school with Steve. It was her first day, and despite her protests of being in high school now and too old to be walked to school, they were both going with her.

So when someone gently pokes his cheek, he slaps the hand away, grumbling angrily.

"Bucky," a voice whispers, as he continues to be poked. "Bucky, wake up."

He groans and and rolls over, snuggling closer to Steve before falling back asleep.

There's a frustrated sigh before the poking becomes violent. " _ Bucky _ ," the voice says, a little louder. And then even louder. " _ James Buchanan Barnes! _ "

He jolts awake, sitting up in the bed. "Huh, what?"

"There's so much blood."

Standing next to the bed was a thin figure, and Bucky's heart may have stopped beating once he got a good look at them. There's a kid, smallish and frail looking, with blood covering their face and their shirt that at one time was probably white. One bloody hand was still outstretched, getting ready to poke him once again.

"Help me."

With a startled yell, he flings himself backwards into Steve. The two super soldiers tumble off the side of bed, Steve on his feet and in a defensive stance a moment later, shield gripped tightly. The figure lets out an exasperated sigh and reaches over, turning on the bedside lamp. The light illuminates the room, and both Bucky and Steve immediately relax.

"I just wanted to know where the washcloths and Tylenol are."

"Jesus Christ," Bucky wheezes, collapsing onto the bed.

Steve drops his shield, breathing returning to normal as he looks at the girl standing before them. "Another nosebleed, Kala? This one's worst than the last one."

She nods, looking completely miserable. "My head hurts too."

Patting Bucky on the back, Steve crosses the room to where Kala is standing. "Go back to sleep Buck. I got this." He leads the bloody covered kid out of their room to get her what she needs, leaving Bucky alone on the bed.

They were taking her to have someone check out those damn nosebleeds and headaches she kept getting.

He's too old for this shit.

.

Morning comes quickly. Too quickly for Kala.

She hadn't gone back to bed after waking up with a massive nosebleed and scaring the crap out of Bucky and Steve. She was too nervous to sleep. Which defeated the entire purpose of spending the night at their apartment last night in order to get sleep for school since Aunt Latrice's friends didn't care if they kept her awake or not.

Even thought she would never admit it out loud, she was scared about starting high school.

Her experiences with school haven't been that great so far. Teachers who didn't care and called her stupid when she didn't understand something, other students who always bullied her. School had never been a safe space for Kala and even though she got a scholarship to the art school she's always wanted to go to, she was terrified.

"You feeling okay, kid?" Bucky asks.

Kala looks up from where she's pushing her eggs around her place, "I'm fine."

"Your head still bothering you."

"No."

"Something else bothering you?"

"No."

"You gonna stop lying to me?"

Kala doesn't answer this time. Just goes back to pushing the eggs around her plate.

"Is this about school?" Steve asks, coming to sit at the table. "It's okay to be nervous, you know."

"I'm not nervous," she insists.

Bucky and Steve raise their brows, wordlessly calling her bullshit. Kala remains silent for a moment, until the combined force of their looks breaks her resolve.

"What if my art isn't good enough?" she says at last.

"Don't be ridiculous. If you weren't amazing at what you do, you wouldn't have gotten in," Steve reassures her, squeezing her shoulder gently. "And I went to art school so I know what I'm talking about."

"But what if no one likes me?"

"Anyone who can't see how great you are is an idiot. You'll make plenty of friends," Buck says, "that way you can hang out with other people besides Paul."

"Peter."

"That's what I said. Percy."

"What do you have against Peter?" Kala asks.

"He ain't good enough for you, that's what."

"We're not even dating!"

"Alright, alright," Steve cuts in, ending the Peter conversation, "we'll discuss Peter later. The point Bucky was trying to make was, you'll be great kid. You're gonna go in there and meet a bunch of new people and do awesome art projects, and it'll be so much fun. You've been excited about this school for ages. Don't worry so much. Everything will be fine."

"And if anyone gives you any trouble, I'll end them."

"Buck!"

"Don't give me that look Steven. We both know you'll be right behind me."

Kala dissolves into giggles.

Maybe today wouldn't be as bad she thought it would.

.

The three of them arrive at The Brooklyn Fine and Performing Arts Academy at exactly 8:15am. Classes start at 8:30. And Kala is still feeling a little nervous, even with the pep talk at breakfast this morning.

Clutching her bag filled with brand new art supplies --two boxes of top of the line art supplies had been delivered to her building last week, courtesy of one Tony Stark. She almost cried-- , she watched the other kids milling about the entrance. She knew she should go in, but for some reason she couldn't get her feet to move. Was it too late to pretend to be sick?

"You ready to go in?"

Kala glances back at the two men behind her, only slightly panicking. She wants to say no and ask if they can please just go home.

"Hey," Bucky says, stepping forward and pulling her into a tight hug, "it's gonna be fine. And if it's not, if it sucks that bad, you can call me and I'll come get you. Okay?"

"Okay," she mumbles.

She pulls away and Steve ruffles her hair affectionately. "Have a good day."

Slowly, Kala makes her way into the building.

She can do this. She can totally do this. She is not going to chicken out and call for backup.

And she goes in.

.

Kala almost calls Bucky. Almost. Right after her first class, and again after her second.

First hour is, because the universe loves to see her suffer, math. Kala doesn't math very well. At all. And of course, she's the one called to the board to do a problem that 'should be easy for everyone' in front of the class.

She got the problem wrong, a disappointed look from her teacher, and laughter from her classmates. Red faced, she spent the rest of the time hiding in the back of the classroom, trying not to be noticed.

Second hour doesn't end up being much better. It's English. And Kala's never told anyone before, but she doesn't read that well either. The words on the page all blend together and make no sense when she looks at them. Again, she is called on. This time to read in front of the class. She stumbles her way through a single paragraph before the teacher takes pity on her and moves onto someone else.

After two hours of embarrassment, yes she wanted to go home.

But she didn't. She worked hard to earn spot at this school and wasn't about to give up now.

So she stuck it out. And surprisingly, the rest of the day didn't suck. Especially when she got to he art classes. The teachers were amazing and Kala couldn't wait to get started on her projects for the year. When 3:30 rolls around, she's feeling a lot better than she was in the morning.

The last bell rings and she gathers up her things, slinging her bag over her shoulder.

She makes her way to the exit, waving to the kids she sat with in her drawing class. Yeah, today wasn’t completely terrible at all.

Stepping out of the front entrance, she expects to see Bucky, maybe even Steve. But instead, leaning against a sleek black car, is a familiar red haired woman standing next to a man with short blond hair. When she sees Kala she gives a cheerful little wave.

A wide grin breaks out on Kala’s face, and she is running.

“Aunt Nat!” she exclaims, slamming into the woman.

“Myshka. It’s been a while.”

“When did you get back?” she asks, pulling away.

“Just this morning. I thought I’d come pick you up. See how your first day went.” She glances over at the blond man. “And this idiot demanded I bring him with me.”

Kala’s attention finally rests on said man.

He gives her a goofy smile.

“Uncle Clint, at your service,” he says with an exaggerated bow, “Nat’s told me all about you.”

Clint. Clint. She feels like she's knows that name from somewhere. But where?

Unless....no way. No way!

Holy shit it’s Hawkeye. The Hawkeye. Has she mentioned that she loves Hawkeye? Like not in a romantic way, but in a ‘if I could be anyone else I would be you because you're made of awesomesauce’ kind of way. Because Hawkeye was just a normal guy. Like she’s a just a normal person. But even though he’s completely normal, no superpowers, no fancy metal suit or anything, he still kicks butt with a weapon from the paleolithic era. Kala wishes she could be that cool.

Wait, was she staring? Stop being creepy, Mulligan.

He looks amused. “Are you too awed by my presence to speak?”

"H-Hi! It's nice to meet you," she squeaks, finally finding her voice, "I'm a huge fan of how you shoot people in the face with arrows."

Oh dear God. She's so embarrassing.

Out of the corner of her eye, Kala can see Natasha trying not smile.

Clint studies her for a second, an amused look on his face, and she wishes the ground would open up and swallow her. 

"What can I say? It's a gift. Maybe I can show you how to do it sometime?"

Is this real life? 

"Really!?"

He chuckles. "Yeah. If you want."

"Only if you want to be murdered by an angry assassin," Natasha cuts in. "Or take an arrow in the ass. I'm sorry, Myshka, but you have terrible aim." 

Kala deflates. "She has a point. I almost killed my landlord once..."

Clint waves his hand dismissively. "I can handle Steve and Barnes. And ones aim can always be improved. You free this weekend?"

She perks back up. "Totally free. I have no plans at all!"

"Good, good. So this Saturday-

“Anyways," Natasha interrupts, "we should get a move on. The others are probably wondering where we are."

“Others?” Kala asks.

“We're grabbing lunch with the rest of the team. Well, minus Thor who can't be reached at the moment. We thought you'd like to come?" 

"Uh, yeah. Sure. Where are we going?"

“Shawarma Hut.”

“Shawarma Hut?”

“You’ll love it. And the Avengers eat free,” Clint says, opening the passenger door. “Now come on. You can tell me all about how you almost offed a guy on the way there.”

“Clint!” Natasha shoots him a look. 

“What? What did I say?"

Kala giggles, sliding into the back seat.

This should be an interesting ride.

.

It was most definitely an interesting ride.

And by interesting Kala meant terrifying.

She spent the entirety of the way to the restaurant white knuckled and afraid that they were going to crash at any moment. Nothing in this world would convince her to get into a car with her Aunt Nat again. Nothing. You couldn’t pay her. There was not enough money in Tony Stark’s bank account to get her back into that screeching metal deathtrap.

Kala felt like kissing the ground when she stumbled out of the car

“You’re looking a little green, kid,” Clint says, patting her on the back.

“How are you not? How are you completely unaffected by that madwoman’s driving?”

“Years of practice. And that motion sickness stuff. Now lets go eat.”

She groans. “I’m not sure my stomach is up for food anymore."

.

Walking into the restaurant, she can see the familiar forms of Steve, Bucky, and Sam sitting at a table in the back. With them are two men she hasn't met yet.

One of them is obviously Tony Stark. It's impossible not to recognize him. The other, a quiet looking man with curly hair sitting in the corner. 

Tony seems to be talking animatedly about something, his hands moving nonstop. The other man occasionally interjects something, but lets Tony do most of the talking. The other three are just sitting back listening to his rambling, like this happens all the time. 

Kala stands there for a moment, unsure. 

She really doesn't want to intrude on a team bonding thing. But before she can turn around, Clint slings an arm around her shoulders.

"C'mon. Gang’s all here. Tony and Bruce want to meet you."

Kala assumes the guy with curly hair is Bruce. 

"We're here!" Clint explains in a sing-songy voice as he practically drags her over to the table. 

The five people at the table turn to look in their direction. 

Bucky grins. "Hey, kid. Looks like your survived Natalia's driving."

"Barely." She glares at the woman before sitting on the chair between Bucky and Steve. 

"My driving isn't that bad. Besides, we made it here in record time," Natasha says, taking her seat across from Kala. 

"I still feel like puking, Aunt Nat."

"Well don't do it here. Some of us are trying to eat here," Tony says. He leans across the table. "You must be Kala. I've heard all about you from the senior citizens. And Jarvis of course."

"Tony!" Steve says, giving the man a disapproving look. 

"What? Had to make sure the kid wasn't a plant. And just so you know, she's completely clear. Although her tumblr has some questionable posts." 

Kala can feel her face heating up.  

"I hope that art stuff was to your liking. I had Jarvis look up the best brands," he continues. 

"They're great, Mr. Stark! Also like super expensive though. I'm not sure when I'll be able to pay you back-"

"Don't. Don't worry about it. It's a gift. Just enjoy it. Paint some great pictures. Also, don't call me Mr. Stark. It makes me feel old."

"But I can't just-"

"Seriously. Don't worry about it. He has more money than he knows what to do with," the curly haired man says. He gives Kala a small smile. "I'm Bruce by the way. Nice to finally put a face to the name." 

"It's nice to meet you too," she greets. 

The adults fall back into whatever conversation they were having before Kala arrived. She listens, doesn't understand a lot of it. Normally, she would be bored in this type of situation, but she finds that she's actually enjoying herself. 

"So tell us about school."

She's caught off guard. "Huh?"

"School. Tell us about your first day. These two have been freaking out about it the whole time you've been gone," Sam says, gesturing at Bucky and Steve. 

"It's just school. It's not really a big deal," she says, not wanting to bother them with the details of her day.

"Not a big deal? So nothing interesting happened? Nothing at all?"

"Well," she starts.

She spends the next twenty minutes discussing her day, minus first and second hour of course, with a tab. And the most amazing thing? People actually wanted to hear about how her day went. How she was doing. 

Kala still isn't used to that.

It feels...good.

.

A few hours later, after all the food has been eaten and the conversation has died down, Kala starts to get up. 

“I should go. My aunt wants me home by 7 o’clock. We have to go somewhere.”

Kala didn’t really want to think about where. But she was used to it by now. 

Bucky grimaces, but doesn’t say anything. The rest of the people at the table all have similar reactions. 

“What? What’s wrong?”

“Nothing. It’s nothing. C’mon kid. Let’s get you home,” Bucky says, standing up. Steve following suit. 

“Bye guys,” she says, giving them a little wave as the three of them walk to the door. “Don’t forget about my archery lessons this Saturday, Uncle Clint.”

He gives her a thumbs up. “You got it.”

“Archery!? No way in hell Barton-”

“It’s gonna be great!”

“Think again young lady.”

“We’ll buy you your own stuff too.”

“Yay!”

“Now wait just a damn minute-”

Laughing, she walks out the door, ignoring Bucky’s outraged yells.

Yeah, today was a good day. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let me know what you think! :)


	6. Un deux trois quatre cinq six sept....

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I accidentally posted an unfinished version of chapter 6 earlier this week. Oops! Here is the real update. Please ignore the first update if you read it as it wasn't finished and had ideas I was going to either rework or scrap completely (and it probably didn't make a whole lot of sense) D:
> 
> Title from Stay Alive (Reprise). I made myself sad listening to it while I was writing this.

A few weeks into high school and Kala is having a little bit of a hard time. 

Okay, a really hard time. 

Her aunt is being crueler than usual. Probably because of her increased drinking. The apartment is littered with empty bottles, and each time she cleans them up, more come in not long after. A few may have actually been from her, which isn't so odd these days. But mostly, her aunt was the one drinking and flying off the handle. 

Once, in a fit of drunken rage over something she didn't even do, her aunt had set some of her sketches that were due the next day and a few of her school textbooks on fire. When Kala tried to stop her, she got hit with a Jack Daniel's bottle and dragged around the apartment by her hair while her aunt continued to hit her. She hid the bruises under a few layers of cover up she thankfully still had. 

Latrice had also thrown a pan of water that had just finished boiling at her when she mouthed off to her one night. Which resulted in a nasty looking burn on her painting hand. 

School wasn't going great. 

She was having a hard time keeping with her regular studies. The academics were much more advanced than the stuff she had been exposed to. Most of the things that 'she should already know' weren't taught to her or she couldn't understand it. Her art teachers, which she originally liked, were already criticizing her work. A few assignments had been returned already with low marks because they don't approve of her style or the themes of her art work.   

Bucky and Steve had been busy lately. So had everyone else. And really, she understood. She did. They were superheroes. They couldn't be around 24/7. It still bothered her that they weren't there though. Sometimes she wondered if they really didn't want anything to do with her. 

The last straw was Peter. 

He was the closest thing she had to a friend. They only saw each other occasionally, when he happened to be in Brooklyn or when she ran away to Queens. But it still made her so happy to see him, and talk to him. Even if it was only for a little bit here and there. Peter always made her feel better. Like that time a few weeks ago when she ran into him after a particularly rough day and he sat with her for two hours trying to cheer her up. 

Kala always thought that he considered her a friend too. But the last time she saw him, he wouldn't even speak to her. Just brushed her off and left in a hurry. She didn't even know what she did. It kind of hurt. 

And made her think that people didn't want to be around her more than she already did. 

Not even her own family wanted her, so why should anyone else?

.

When Kala was a little girl she used to dream that her mom and dad would come back.

Every night before bed, she would look at the picture on her nightstand. It was of two people, a dark skinned woman with her nose and curly hair, and a tall man with a neatly trimmed beard who had her green eyes and smile, his arm slung around the woman's shoulders. In the woman's arms was a baby, no more than a year old, dressed in a pink outfit. The only picture she had of her parents.

She didn't have many memories of her mother, and even less of her father. But they were her parents, and she loved them anyways.

Kala would look at this picture and pray to whoever was listening that they would come and take her away from her aunt, who was always so mean to her. That they could go back to being a happy family. Like they were in the picture.

And to her surprise, her mother did show up one day

It was a Friday, a few days before Christmas, when Ayesha Mulligan dropped in after being missing in action for three years.

To say that Kala was excited would have been an understatement. It was her mom. Her mom finally came back for her. What kid in her situation wouldn't be over the moon?

"Mama! Mama! You're back!" she had screamed, jumping into the woman's arms.

Her mother had smiled and laughed, twirling her around. "I told you I'd be back! Did you miss me?"

"Yeah!"

They spent the whole day together. Just the two of them.

It was one of the happiest days of Kala's life.

Of course, like all good things, it came to an end. Ayesha dropped her off back at her aunt's apartment that night and promised to be back on Christmas to get her.

Three days later, on Christmas morning, she sat by the door with her bags, and waited.

And waited, and waited.

She never comes.

She tries to call her mom and no one picks up.

The next time Aunt Latrice mentioned her mom, she told Kala that she was in California with her new husband and baby brother.

They never heard from her after that.

It's two years after that when Kala gets her hopes up again.

Aunt Latrice called her into the living room one day, and sitting on their lumpy sofa was a familiar man with green eyes. He was shifting around uncomfortably, like he didn't want to be there. When she stepped into the room, he looked at her, wide eyed, and unsure what to do.

"Well, here she is. Are you going to take her or what?" her aunt asked, looking annoyed. "I have places to be."

He was silent for a moment before standing up and walking over, crouching down in front of her.

"It's been so long. You've gotten so big. Do you know who I am, Kalanit?" he asked.

She nods. "You're my dad."

"I didn't think you'd remember me. You were so young..."

Kala didn't remember him much at all. She just recognized him from the picture with a sloppy 'Mommy and Daddy and Me' written on the back in crayon. But she didn't tell him that.

He cleared his throat. "I was talking to your aunt here, and I was wondering if...if you would like to come home with me? We could get to know each other again. And you'd have your brother's and sister's to play with, and we have a dog named Sammy," he rambled.

All of that sounded great. Better than her aunt who always yelled at hit her, and the scary people who wandered in and out of the apartment at all hours of the day and night. Yes, she wanted to go. She wanted to go so bad.

"What do you say, Kalanit?"

She smiled. "Okay."

A few hours later, Kala found herself sitting next to her father in a home on the Upper East Side. Seated on the couch opposite them was a stern faced woman named Rachel, her father's wife.

"Levi, I didn't know you were bringing her here," she said, a forced a smile on her face. "You should have told me."

She was ushered into the kitchen with four other children while her father and stepmother had a heated argument in the living room. Kala assumed that they were her brothers and sisters that she had been told about. Jacob and Shiran, both older than her, and Sarah and Ari, both younger.

"I'm Kalanit," she said.

"Who cares," Shiran said, not looking up from the book she had been reading.

Kala didn't try talking to them again.

The new arrangement lasted for a little over a week. Levi did his best to include his daughter in the family, but Rachel and the kids shunned her. They made it clear that she wasn't wanted there. And Kala was almost as miserable as she was back at her aunt's place.

"I don't know why daddy named you Kalanit," Sarah told her one night, "flowers are supposed to be pretty."

She spent that whole night crying in a room. It was also the night she started referring to herself as just Kala. She didn't like her name anymore.

The day after Hanukkah ended, she found herself back in her father's car, driving towards Aunt Latrice's apartment in Brooklyn.

"Will you still visit me?" she asked.

"Of course I will. I'll be back. I promise you. We'll see each other all the time."

Kala should have known better than believe anyone's promises. He drops her off in front of her building, and that was the last time she saw her father. She tried to call him a few times. Each time he told her it wasn't a good time and to call back later. Eventually he stops picking up all together.

She took the picture of her and her parents out of its cracked frame and put it down the garbage disposal later that month. She didn't want to have it any longer. And she stopped waiting for someone to come and save her.

So when Uncle Rodney showed up on the last day of sixth grade and offered to take her off Latrice's hands, she was skeptical. Latrice, never one to pass up an opportunity to get rid of her niece, eagerly agreed.  

Reluctantly, Kala found herself living with her uncle in a different part of Brooklyn. And, to her shock, it was amazing.

Uncle Rodney was an amazing guy. They were both artists, liked the same things, had the same weird quirks. They stayed up late watching Star Wars and even had a light saber battle once, which ended in them breaking the dining room table and disturbing all of their neighbors. For one summer, Kala was completely and utterly happy.

Until it was almost time for her to go back to school.

"Kala!" her uncle had called from the door, "I'm running to the store. I'll be back in bit."

"Okay!" she called back, not bothering to get up.

She sat watching TV, waiting for her uncle to get back. They were supposed to work on a painting together that night.

The hours ticked by, and he never came back. Kala called him at least twenty times, but he didn't answer his phone. She called his friends, but they hadn't seen him. It was midnight when she finally decided to go looking for him herself. But then there was a knock on the door.

She opened it to find two people in uniform standing there.

"Can I help you?" she asked, nervously. Cops showing up at night was never a good sign after all. And Kala had known, just known, it was about Rodney. There was no way he would just leave and not come back.

"Do you know a Rodney Mulligan?" one of them asked her.

"He's my uncle," she answered.

The two cops had looked at each other for a moment before sighing.

"I'm sorry to tell you this. But there was a shooting at the convenience store."

Kala didn't hear the rest. She didn't need to. She already knew.

The social worker carted her back to her Aunt Latrice's place that night, much to the woman's displeasure. She had been convinced that she had finally gotten rid of Kala for good that time. But at least Kala came with extra money from the state. That was probably the only reason her aunt kept taking her back.

"Well, get in here, girl," her aunt ordered after the social worker left, "can't believe I'm stuck with you again."

The feeling was mutual.

.

"Do you think Bucky and Steve ever get tired of me?" 

Clint chokes on his drink. "Come again?"

The two of them are sitting on the bench in the archery range at Avengers tower. It's another Saturday archery lesson and she's not doing much better than the previous weeks. So far she has only managed to hit the target once. And no where near the bullseye.

"Bucky and Steve," Kala says, looking everywhere but at Clint. "Do you think they ever get tired of having me around?"

That question has been haunting her for days. Weeks. She was always so concerned that she was annoying the two super soldiers and that they secretly didn't want her around. Maybe she was just being paranoid, but based on past experiences she has every right to be concerned. 

"Don't be silly," he says. "They love having you around. We all do."

He sets his water bottle down, turning to face Kala, a concerned expression on his face. "What brought this on all of a sudden?"

She shrugs. "Nothing."

"It doesn't sound like nothing."

"I just...nevermind," she sighs. She's not sure how to voice what she's feeling at the moment. "I think I'm going to call it quits for the day. I don't feel good." 

Kala gets up from the bench and begins to pack away her belongings. She pauses when she a feels a hand on her shoulder. 

"Kid, what's going on? Talk to me." Clint looks extremely worried.

She shrugs off his hand and slings her bag over her shoulder. "I have to go now. Thanks for the lessons." Kala walks to the door, ignoring the archer's protests. She just wanted to go home. 

Quietly she makes her way to the elevator, hoping she doesn't run into anyone else. 

"Leaving so soon, Miss?" a robotic sounding voice says. She jumps. How do people live with Jarvis. It's spooky. 

"Yeah. Ground floor please," she asks. 

The doors slide shut and the elevator hums to life, taking her downstairs. 

"Sir was under the impression you were staying longer. He has dinner and a movie night planned."

"Sorry. Not tonight. I'm not feeling good."

There is a pause. "Should I redirect you to the infirmary?"

"No! No. Please. I just want to go home."

"As you wish." 

The elevator comes to a stop and she walks out, hurrying past the crowds of people milling about the entrance. 

So much for a fun Saturday.

.

It's later in the evening and Kala is sitting at her kitchen table. 

Her aunt has invited her friends over again. The apartment smells like smoke and booze. Everyone is being and obnoxious in their drug and alcohol induced states. Kala can't bring herself to really care this time. 

A guy, she thinks his name is Thomas or something, plops down in the seat next to her. 

"You want one?" he asks, holding out a bottle.

Kala reaches for it without hesitation. And she knows she shouldn't. Deep down a part of her knows that this is not the answer. But sometimes she just likes to forget. She just wants a moment where she feels good. 

So she drinks one.

And another. Maybe some more after that. But it doesn't help. Not like it usually does. The buzz that normally makes her feel good isn't there tonight. 

Finally, she pushes up from the table and stumbles to the bathroom. Going inside she slams the door behind her. Why does life suck so much? Why does she bother? Why is she even here?

Letting out a frustrated yell, her first connects with the mirror in front of her.

Fuck everything. She's done. 

.

Natasha and Bucky are driving back to Avengers tower when he gets the call. 

He sees Kala name flash on the screen and motions for her to turn down the music that was blaring. 

"Hey kiddo. We're almost back to the tower. What's up?"

There is silence on the other end.

"Kid? You there?"

He can hear Kala take a shaky breath. "M'sorry. I should....I shouldn't've called ya," she slurs. 

"Are you drunk?" he asks slowly. 

She laughs. It's bordering on hysterical. "Iunno. Maybe a little."

Natasha looks over at him, a worried look on her face. 

"Where you are right now?" 

"Do you wish you never met me?"

"What?"

"Would it be easier if I wasn't around?"

Oh. Oh boy. 

Bucky closes his eyes and takes a deep breath. 

"Why would you say something like that?" he asks, trying to stay calm. 

"Cuz everyone else seems to think so..." her voice breaks at the end. 

Shit.

"What's going on?" Natasha whispers, trying to hear what was being said. 

Bucky shakes his head. 

"Kala, listen to me. I need you to tell me where you are, okay?"

He hears her mumble something unintelligible.

"Kala! Tell me where you are. Please. Are you at home?"

"Mhm."

"Okay, okay. We're coming to get you. Just wait there okay?"

Natasha immediately turns the car around, speeding in the other direction. She could tell from Bucky's tone that the situation wasn't great. 

"I don't feel good."

"I know. I know you don't. Just hang in there." He gives Natasha a panicked look and she pulls out her cellphone, dialing someone else. She's speaking rapidly into the phone but he's not listening to what she's saying. 

"Bucky I don't-" she lets out a little gasp, "I really don't feel good." 

"Shh. I know. We're coming." 

"I didn't mean to..." He can hear her starting to panic. He clutches the phone tighter. He should be there. He shouldn't have been away so much these past few weeks. They all had noticed a change in her behavior lately. 

Stupid. Stupid! They should have done something.

Fuck, they should have been done something way before this. 

"I know. I know. It's okay. You have to stay calm. I'm almost there. Can you count with me like last time?"

"Uhuh." 

"Un deux trois quatre cinq six sept huit neuf," he starts. 

"Un deux...trois...quatre cinq six...sept huit...neuf," she forces out. 

"Good. Un deux trois quatre cinq six sept huit neuf," Bucky says again.   


"Un deux trois quatre cinq six sep-" 

There is silence on the other end. 

No. No no no.

"Sept huit neuf, Kala. Come on. Sept huit neuf."

She doesn't reply. 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let me know what you think!


	7. The moments when you're in so deep

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys! Sorry for the delay. My grandma passed away and I've been having some issues and not feeling okay lately, so things kind of suck right now. But I'm going to try and update as often as I can. 
> 
> Title from It's Quiet Uptown. Someone take the Hamilton soundtrack away from me.

Steve doesn't think he's ever run so fast in his life.

He got the call while he was out with Sam running errands before movie night. Bucky was barely holding together. He could hear people shouting and sirens in the background. Steve could only make out two words. Kala and hospital. And he was running. He gets to the hospital in record time, bursting through the doors. Ignoring the shouts of the people he slams into as he quickly makes his way to the ICU.

He rushes up to to the information desk, startling the blonde nurse on duty.

"Where is my daughter!?" he demands.

"Sir, I need you to calm down," she says in a gentle voice. "What is your daughter's name?"

"Kala. Kala Mulligan. What happened? Can I see her?"

She types something into her computer and Steve taps his foot impatiently.

"Can I see her, please?" he asks again, desperate to find out what happened.

"I'm sorry. You can't go back. She's in critical condition. The doctor is with her now-"

"What happened!?"

"Sir! I need you to-"

"Steve!" a voice from behind him interrupts the nurse.

He whirls around to see Bucky on the other side of the waiting room and rushes towards him. His eyes are bloodshot and it looks like he's about to lose it any second.

"Buck. What happened? Is she going to be alright?"

"They don't know. She...she was in bad shape Steve. If they hadn't got there when they did..." He runs a hand over his face. "I don't know."

"What happened?”

"She lost a lot of blood."

Steve can feel himself starting to panic more.

“Was it her aunt? The boyfriend didn’t do-”

“No, Steve,” Bucky cuts him off. “It wasn’t her aunt.”

“I don’t understand.”

“She did it herself.”

Steve freezes.

“What?”

Bucky falls into the chair behind him. “She did it to herself, Steve…” He buries his face in his hands.

Steve slowly lowers himself into the seat next to Bucky, disbelief on his face.

“Kala wouldn’t,” he starts.

“She did, Steve. They think that…” he takes a deep breath, “they think she was trying to kill herself.”

He doesn’t know what to think. Not their Kala. 

“It’s all our fault,” Bucky says. “We let this happen. We let it get this bad.”

Steve puts a hand on his shoulder but he flinches away.

God. How were they going to fix this? 

.

For a while they don't think Kala is going to wake up.

The combination of the drugs in her system and the blood she lost make things touch and go for a while. But she pulls through. A little over a week later she opens her eyes for the first time and Bucky nearly cries in relief.

She isn't awake long. Only long enough for the tube to be removed from her throat and Bucky and Steve to reassure her that they're there before she's drifting off again. But it's better than nothing.

The second time she wakes up, he wants to cry for a different reason.

Kala refuses to talk to anyone about what happened. Not the doctors, the psychiatrist, the social worker from CPS, not even them. Just turns on her side with her back to them and doesn't say a word for the first three days.

"The doc says you're going to make a full recovery. No permanent damage."

Nothing.

"Kala please," he begs, sitting in the chair next to her bed, "you have to talk to me here. I'm not sure what to do."

It's silent for a moment, before she answers in a voice that's barely above a whisper, "You should have let me go."

He has to get up and walk out of the room for a minute.

What do you even say to that?

By the time he can convince himself to go back inside visiting hours are over the nurse has already asked him to leave.

She's in the same position he left her in.

"I have to go," he says quietly, "I'll be back tomorrow."

Kala doesn't give any indication that she's listening.

"Get some rest, okay?" he continues, leaning over the side of the bed and pressing a kiss to her head. "I love ya, kid. Don't you forget that."

Bucky has to try really hard to ignore the soft sobs as he leaves the room.

.

"Lucky misses you. That poor dog has been a mess without you visiting. Clint's jealous," Steve tells her one morning.

He's sitting in a rather uncomfortable chair by the window, drawing in his sketchbook. Kala had been moved upstairs into to the psychiatric ward two days ago. So far she hasn't been cooperating with the staff. Not much had changed.

Kala is perched on the other chair, knees drawn up to her chest. She's dressed in pajama pants and a t-shirt, white bandages cover her forearms. She doesn't answer Steve, or even acknowledge his presence. Her gaze remains fixed on the window.

The silence drags on.

"Lunch is soon. Are you going to go down and eat today?" he asks, hopefully.

Not a peep.

Steve sighs, closing his sketchbook and leaning forward in the chair.

"You can't go on like this."

Kala shifts in her seat, the only sign that she might be listening.

"You won't talk to us. To anyone. You're not eating or sleeping. We..." he trails off, rubbing a hand over his face, "we almost lost you, Kala. What would we have done if the paramedics hadn't gotten there in time?"

She buries her face in her knees.

"We just want to help.”

It’s quiet for a moment longer. “Please go away,” she says.

“Kala-”

“I said go!”

Steve takes a deep, trying to keep himself calm. “Okay. If that’s what you want.”

He stands up to leave, gathering his belongings.  

“I’ll be back soon, okay?” He says, walking overing and ruffling her curls. An action which usually gets him a smack and an annoyed ‘don’t!’. But this time she only flinches away from his hand.  

“The others should be by too. They all planned to come visit you.”

But she has already gone silent again.

He sighs. How could they have let it get this bad?

.

Kala receives a steady stream of visitors over the course of her stay.

Not just Bucky and Steve, but Natasha, Clint, Sam, and even Bruce, though she's spent the least amount of time with him, come to see her. 

Natasha sits with her in her room or sometimes the visiting area when Kala can be bothered to leave her room. She talks away to the mostly unresponsive girl in Russian, pleased with she at least gets an occasional "da" or "nyet" out of her. It's not much, but she'll take it. Kala even lets her mess with her hair one afternoon, which is the first time she's let anyone touch her in a while. A small victory.

Sam keeps her updated on what's going on outside of the hospital. He tries to get her to talk about what happened, like Steve and Bucky, but so far each attempt has gone awry. One ending with a meltdown of epic proportions that kept him away for a few days. After that he stopped pushing. 

Clint is seemingly unfazed by the situation. He smiles and jokes like everything is normal and they're not sitting in a psych ward. Every time visits he comes with new pictures of Lucky, which he tapes up on her wall, and funny stories about the other avengers. He tries to engage her in conversation, and is about as successful as the others. So not very. 

Surprisingly, Bruce is the only who seems to connect with her in any way. He talks, but doesn't expect her to answer. He let's Kala know he's there and he cares, but doesn't push the way Steve and Bucky do sometimes. Bruce knows they mean well, they love her after all. But they don't seem to get that maybe they're pushing a little too hard and are just stressing her out even more. 

And maybe the reason they get along so well because Bruce gets it. He's been there before. A few times actually. He knows what it's like to hit the bottom and just keep going. Maybe that's why Kala is more relaxed with him and than the others. They're similar to each other. Whatever the reason, the others are just thankful for Bruce in these moments. 

It's day twenty of her stay when Tony Stark finds himself sitting in the brightly painted visiting area next to the still sullen looking girl. He's fidgeting nervously, unsure what to do or say. Truthfully, he had been avoiding this.

Not because he doesn't want to see the kid. As much as he normally doesn't get along with kids, he has to admit a soft spot has grown for the little stray Barnes and Noble picked up. But because he doesn't want to say the wrong the thing. He's not very good at this. Especially in this kind of situation.

"So," he begins, watching her carefully, "are they treating you okay? They better be. I donate to this hospital."

Kala stares blankly at him, before turning away.

"I should have expected that," he sighs.

He should have brought Bruce with him. Bruce would know what to do.

"I have good news," he tries again. "I'm not sure if any of this has been mentioned to you, but some paperwork has gone through. Called in a favor from a certain someone over in Hell's Kitchen."

Still nothing.

"You'll be going home with Steve and Barnes when you finally check out of this place. Hopefully the arrangement will be permanent soon. Just have to deal a few....other people and make sure they can't do anything."

Tony waits a moment for a reaction, but when he gets none he just continues.

"The three of you are moving into the tower. They didn't think it was a good idea to take you back to the apartment. Which, I do agree with. That place is a dump. Natasha is in charge of decorating your room. You can always make changes if you completely hate it."

"I don't have to go back?"

Tony jumps in surprise. The words are so soft he almost misses them.

"Come again?"

"I don't have to go back to my aunt?"

Kala is looking at him with disbelief.

"Of course not. Your aunt is long gone. You'll never see her again if you don't want to," he reassures her. And even if by some chance she wanted to that probably wouldn't happen. Agent Not Dead also owed him one and took care of the problem. He honestly has no idea where she and the boyfriend ended up. Not that he cares enough to find whatever hole Coulson had them thrown in. 

"And Bucky and Steve..."

"What about them?"

"They still want me?"

"Of course they still want you. Why wouldn't they-" he stops mid sentence and has to resist the urge to smack himself. Of course this was the problem. She had an entire biological family full of people who didn't want her. Tony had tracked down all her relatives, read all the files. Of course she doesn't trust people when they say they love her and want her around.

"Look, kid. Those two idiots love you to death. I know it's kind of hard to believe with all the other shit people you've been surrounded with so far, but they actually care about you and want you around.  _ We  _ want you around. Natasha is always talking about her Myshka, Clint and Sam are fighting over the favorite uncle position, Bruce thinks your great, and even I like you. Which is really saying something because full offense, children are weird and sometimes gross. I wouldn't invite someone I didn't like to live in my tower. So there's no reason for you to think you're not wanted. Everyone loves you. Got it?" 

She stares at him with wide watery eyes, and for a minute Tony is afraid he's made her cry. He doesn't handle crying well.

Why, oh why, did he not bring Bruce with him?

"So when you start feeling better, you have a place to go home to. Remember that."

And with that he reaches an arm over her shoulders and grabs something off the table. He feels her jerk at the sudden close contact.

"That wasn't a hug, I was just grabbing this brochure," he says, leaning back.

She stares at him for a minute, before a small smile breaks out on her face.

The first smile in weeks.

And Tony can't help but think that maybe things will be okay after all.

.

Bucky and Steve come to see her together the next day.

Kala, much to their surprise, is already waiting for them in the family room.

"Hey kiddo," Bucky greets, nervously. So far their visits haven't been going well. He's not sure what to expect. Doesn't know what kind mood she's going to be in or how she'll react to them today.

She looks up at the sound of his voice, startled. They hadn't come to see her in a few days. Not since she screamed at them during their last visit. Kala wasn't expecting them to come back so soon. 

The two of them are standing back, unsure if they should approach her or not.

Kala looks at them, feeling just as a nervous as they are. 

"Hey, dad" she says

.

It's slow, and the doctor keeps her in the hospital for a little while longer, but she starts to improve.

Kala is still quiet, but has started talking some during therapy. She's actually eating, and not hiding in her room all day. When Steve and Bucky come to visit she doesn't get angry or ignore them. She's still not quite herself, but she's getting there. 

One day, after a group therapy session that had been a little rough, she is informed that she has a visitor waiting for her. Kala assumes it is Bucky. He usually comes at this time. But she is surprised to see someone else.

A tall, at least compared to her, lanky boy dressed in jeans and hoodie.

"Hey Brooklyn! Long time no see."

For a moment, she isn't sure what to do. How did he even find out she was here?

"Mr. Stark told me you were here. He said I should come visit. Preferably at a time when Bucky wasn't already here."

Kala smiles slightly. "That's probably for the best."

He chuckles nervously, running a hand through his hair. "Yeah, he doesn't seem to like me much."

She walks across the room to sit at the table with him.

"So," Peter starts, "how are you doing?"

She shrugs. "I'm okay."

He raises a brow, looking around the room then back at her and her still red rimmed eyes with an 'are you kidding me right now?' kind of expression. 

She sighs.

"I'm feeling better. Not quite there yet, but better."

He smiles. "Good, that's good."

There's an awkward pause. Neither one of them are sure what to say to the other.

"I...I'm really glad you’re okay," he says after a moment. "And, I'm sorry."

Kala blinks, confused. "What do you have to be sorry for?"

"The other day. You tried to talk to me and I busy with...things...and I just ignored you when I shouldn't have. And the next day you-"

"Hey, stop. Just stop right there. It's okay. Let's not talk about that right now."

"But-"

"But nothin' Peter Parker. My crazy isn't your fault." 

Peter frowns. "You know you're not crazy, right? ."

Kala huffs out a laugh. "I don't think sane people end up with an extended stay at the funny farm, Peter." 

"You're not crazy," he insists, poking her in the arm, "I wouldn't invite a crazy person to Mr. Stark's gala."

"Huh?" Kala looks at him with wide eyes.

Peter's face turns bright red and he looks like he wants nothing more than to melt into the floor. "I. I was just...well, I was thinking you- if you want to of course! You don't have to. But Stark industries is having their annual gala and I'm invited and I want you to, uh, be my plus one? If you're home by then." 

She's not sure if she heard him correctly? A gala. The two of them. At a fancy party. Together. Her and Peter. 

"You mean like a date?" she asks slowly, still not believing what she's hearing. 

He nods, face still on fire. "If you want, that is! It doesn't have to be a date. We could just go as friends or not at all.." he trails off, staring at the floor. 

"I would like that," she says after a moment, face turning as red as Peter's. 

His head jerks up in surprise. "Really?"

A small smile forms on her face. "Really. Providing I'm free by then."

He smiles back. "It's a date."

.

After a week in ICU, another few days in the general unit, and a thirty three day stay in crazy town, Kala has never been more ready to leave somewhere. She's had her bags packed for three days, ever since the doctor said he thought she would be okay at home. 

She's standing at the entrance of the ward, waiting impatiently while Steve and Bucky finish signing release forms and going over her outpatient treatment papers with one of the nurses. 

"Ready to go home?" Steve says, walking over to her and slinging an arm around her shoulders. 

"Yeah, pops," she says, smiling, feeling better in this moment than she has in a long, long time. "I'm ready to go home."

"Good," Bucky says coming up on her other side. "Let's get going. Birdbrain's making dinner."

Steve groans. "You mean Clint's burning dinner and we're probably ordering pizza."

The three of them look at each other before they all burst out laughing. 

Yes, Kala thinks. 

It was good to be going home with her family. 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Reviews are appreciated!


	8. Once Upon a Time in Asgard

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter 8. Yay! I've given up on an official updating schedule because college is kicking my ass right now. So I'll update as often as I can. Hope you like.

Midgardians are strange.

Midgardian children are stranger yet. Is it normal for them to sit in corners and stare intensely at you while you eat breakfast? It’s a bit unnerving if you asked Thor.

He can’t recall ever meeting the girl. She was not here when he left for Asgard months ago. But she’s here now, sitting on a stool in the corner of the communal kitchen with a gray ball of fluff curled up on her lap, just...staring at him warily.

Thor smiles at her. “Hello,” he greets.

She doesn’t say a word. Her gaze does not falter.

Well then.

The awkward silence continues on while he finishes his breakfast, doing his best to ignore the feeling of eyes on him. He glances up again and sees that she still hasn’t moved from her spot. Thor tries to engage her again.

“That’s a nice cat you have there,” he says, looking at the gray fluff.

As if it knows he was talking about it, it picks his head up to reveal the grumpiest expression he has even seen on an animal and hisses in his direction. The girl pets him gently, still not taking her eyes off of Thor.

Perhaps it is time to leave.

But the girl beats him too it. She picks up the hissing creature in her arms and slips down from the tall stool, slowly making her way to the door. Before leaving, she pauses, turning to look at him.

“You have great hair,” she says in a quiet voice.

“...Thank you?”

She nods, turning back around and walking out of the room.

Midgardians are strange people indeed.

.

She disappears for the rest of morning. It's like she was never even there.

The only thing that lets him know he wasn't imagining this morning is the gray cat that is staring at him menacingly from his place atop Mjolnir. It has to be the most unpleasant creature he's ever laid eyes on. Almost as ugly as Bjorn, his brothers cat when he was child. The stupid thing was menace, kind to no one but Loki. It even attacked a bear once, hence the name "Bjorn".

Looking at this cat, Thor was convinced it might be mean enough to fight a bear as well.

Each time he reaches for his hammer it hisses and extends its claws, practically vibrating with rage.

Thor is definitely not too afraid to take it back from the cat.

The coffee table is excellent place to set one's weapon.

He is not scared of a cat.

.

"There was a girl in the kitchen earlier," Thor says.

Clint looks up from cleaning his arrows. "Oh, that's just Kala."

"Kala?"

"Yeah. Steve and Bucky's kid."

Thor blinks. "I wasn't aware they had a child."

"It's a new thing. They're in the process of adopting her. You've missed a lot since you've been gone, big guy."

They sit there quietly for a moment.

"She's a good kid," Clint continues, a fond smile on his face.

Thor makes a face. "She stared at me the entire time I was eating breakfast. I don't think she blinked once."

The archer chuckles. "A little strange at times, but a good kid. She was probably just too nervous to talk to you. The kid has a hard time with new people."

"I see."

"She'll come around eventually," Clint assures him. "Just...be patient with her."

Thor can't help but feel he's missing something important. 

.

The next time he sees her is in the lab Jane shares with Stark and Banner.

Thor doesn't understand a lot of science Jane rambles on about. But he is more than happy to sit there and watch her work and talk excitedly about her passion. He doesn't mind it one bit. He also gets to spend time with Darcy and occasionally Dr. Selvig. It's always nice to see them.

He's reclined in a chair, feet propped up on a small table, while Darcy is animatedly explaining to him what Star Wars is and how he has to watch it with her tonight, when the lab doors slide open.

Kala quietly walks into the room and hurries in Stark's direction, only glancing at them briefly.

"Hey kiddo," Tony greets, motioning for her to take the seat next to him.

Darcy gapes at him. "Don't tell me you actually reproduced? The world cannot handle two of you."

"Ha ha. Very funny Lewis. But don't worry, she's not mine. I'm just the favorite Uncle. Right, kid?" He ruffles her curls affectionately.

"I prefer Uncle Bruce actually," Kala says, an innocent smile on her face.

Tony gasps, clutching at his heart dramatically. "You wound me."

"You'll get over it."

“That’s it! You’re banished from the lab. Jarvis, take note of her banishment.”

“Ms. Kala’s banishment is noted.”

“Hey!”

Thor can’t help but smile at the two of them. He’s never seen Stark interact with children before and it is, as Darcy would say, ‘freakin’ adorable’.

“Aren’t you going to introduce us to your little friend,” Darcy cuts in.

“Huh? Oh, right.” He slings an arm around Kala’s shoulders. “This evil munchkin in Kala. She belongs to Barnes and Noble. Be kind to her or you’ll probably experience death by metal arm.”

“Hi,” she says softly, shrinking into Tony’s side.

“Child, this is Darcy Lewis. Ignore her and you’ll be fine.”

“Sup, kiddo!”

“That’s Jane. She probably doesn’t even realize you’re here at the moment. Reintroduce yourself later.”

Said woman makes a noise at the mention of her name but is too busy sciencing to pay attention.

“And Thor. But Clint tells me you ate breakfast with him this morning.”

Her face turns beet red at the mention of breakfast.

“Keep the three of them in line while I’m gone. Kay?”

“You’re leaving!?”

Thor frowns at the look of panic on the girl’s face. Clearly, she had no desire to be alone with them.

“Yeah, I have a meeting at one,” he pauses, also noticing the expression on Kala’s face, “I can cancel though? Or Bruce. He’ll wander in here at some point.”

She shakes her head. “No, no. Go. I’ll be fine.”

“You sure?”

“Yep. Go on. Get out of here before Pepper comes to hunt you down.”

She sounds nowhere near sure.

.

Thor is having flashbacks to breakfast.

Stark has been gone for half an hour and Kala hasn't moved from her position at Tony's work table. She's been alternating between working on her drawing and staring at him intently, like she wants to attempt conversation but is too nervous to say anything.

He remembers Barton saying she's very shy. So maybe he should be the one to start the conversation. This would easier if Darcy hadn't dragged Jane out of the lab to eat and left them alone. They were probably better at this than he was.

"So you're an artist, like Steven."

"Huh?"

She looks up, surprised that he has spoken to her.

"You're drawing," he points to the sketchbook, "you've been working on it for a while. Your father always has his near by."

"Yeah. Pops and I draw together all the time."

"What are you drawing?"

Kala hesitates for a moment, glancing at the page, before turning it around so he can see. On the page, drawn in great detail, is a creature that looks strangely familiar.

"Is that a bilgesnipe?"

She blinks. "A what?"

"A bilgesnipe. A huge, scaly creature with antlers. I wasn't aware Midgardians knew of them."

"I've...never seen a bilgesnipe before. I was just kind doing a random drawing for one of my art classes."

"Well for someone whose never seen one, you've drawn it perfectly. It looks just like the one I had when I was a child."

"You had one for a  _ pet, _ " she says, giving him a strange look. "Wouldn't you have rather had something, I don't know, less dangerous as a pet? Like The Great Catsby."

"Who?"

"My cat. He was with me earlier."

Oh he remembers the cat. He briefly wonders if he's still guarding Mjolnir. He might never get his hammer back if he is.

"Yes, I've met the Great Catsby. He is an awful lot like Bjorn. My brothers cat."

"You have a brother?"

Thor is silent for a moment. He rarely speaks about his brother to anyone anymore. After everything he's done, most people hate him with a passion. But when he looks at him, he still sees his baby brother that used to follow him around all the time. It's hard sometimes, to think of Loki.

He must have had a weird expression on his face because Kala is apologizing a minute later. "I'm sorry, I shouldn't have asked."

She's fidgeting in her seat, looking like she wants to bolt from the room. Thor takes a breath and smiles at her. "It's quite alright. I just don't speak of him often."

Kala tilts her head, a curious expression on her face. For some reason, Thor decides to continue.

"His name is Loki, he's my little brother."

If Kala remembers the name Loki and that he was the one who lead the invasion a few years back, she doesn't let it show on her face.

"That's too bad. I get the feeling you were close."

Thor nods. "We were, at one time." A pause. "You know, you remind me of him a little bit."

"I do?"

She did. She reminded him of a much younger Loki. Her nervousness around people, her mannerisms, her love of ugly creatures. The same shy smiles and her eyes. Green eyes that were exactly the same shade as his brothers. Yes, she was very much like him.

"You even like the same type of cats. Did you know his cat, Bjorn, tried to fight a bear once?"

"Seriously?" she leans forward in her seat. "Did it win?"

Thor laughs. "Of course it did. That creature was invincible. It's probably still wandering around Asgard somewhere."

And with that he launches into the tale of Bjorn the cat, noting that the entire time he's speaking, Kala is slowly moving closer to him.

The two of them will get along just fine, he thinks.

.

When Darcy and Jane return to the lab an hour later, accompanied by Bruce, the three of them are greeted by the sight of Thor in full on story teller mode. He's gesturing wildly as he recounts the story of a battle on Asgard.

Kala sits in the chair next to him, full engrossed in the tale, green eyes never looking away from Thor.

The two of them don't even notice that they're back.

.

By five o'clock in the afternoon, The Great Catsby has abandoned Mjolnir to relocate to the kitchen.

He watches as Steven and James, who have just come home from an assignment stand in the doorway of the kitchen, debating the pros and cons of entering.

"It's just a cat, Buck. We can handle it."

"The last time you said that we almost died."

The gray ball of rage turns to look at the two super soldiers and lets out a noise Thor wasn't aware cats could make.

He almost chuckles as two grown men jump back in fear from a cat. But then it turns its attention to him.

He is still not afraid of a cat, he tells himself as he retreats to the safety of another room.

It's just a cat.

.

"I met Kala today," he tells Steve.

The two of them are sitting in the living room, waiting for the others to arrive from wherever they happen to be. 

"Did you," he says, looking up from his sketchpad. "How is she? I haven't seen her yet today."

"She is fine. A little shy, but fine." 

Steve sighs. "Yeah, she's not good with people. They haven't been good to her."

"No?'

"No. Her family, if you can even call them that, well....it's just better that's she's here with us." Steve's expression is pained. 

Thor wants to ask what happened, but at the same time isn't sure he really wants the details of how the child he just spent hours with was treated before coming to Steve and Bucky. He cannot imagine anyone mistreating her. Doesn't want to think about it. 

"She stared at me for twenty minutes this morning just because she likes my hair."

Steve laughs.

.

Taco Tuesday is tradition in Avengers tower.

Usually they would make homemade tacos but no one was willing to enter to the kitchen except for Kala who said that she was not going to make all the tacos herself just because they were all a bunch of babies.

So they had Jarvis place an order for tacos, along with fish from same fancy place in an effort to appease the beast still lurking somewhere in the kitchen.

Thor is relaxed in his usual place on the sofa, glad to finally be back with his teammates. Yes, Asgard was his home, but being here surrounded by his friends was nearly as good.

He looks up as he feels the sofa. Kala, who was previously seated between her fathers and talking animatedly to Bruce, has got up and plopped herself down next to him.

They look at each other for a moment, before she smiles. "Hey."

"Hello again," he says.

"So. About that time you and your friends snuck into Jotunheim. You didn't finish."

He grins. "Well you see, what happened was..." and he starts the tale where he left off. Kala sits there wide eyed, throwing in the occasional comment. 

Thor can see the others watching them out of the corner of his eye, surprise on their faces, but doesn't acknowledge them. With the exception of Jane, Darcy, and Selvig, no one had taken a real interest in his homeland before. It was nice to have someone to talk about Asgard with. 

They continue talking until the tacos arrive. 

"Food!" she exclaims, leaping from her seat. 

Thor chuckles at her excitement. But he guesses it's a good thing. The girl is tiny. Far tinier than she should be.

"She likes you," Bucky says from his place on the other side of room. 

"I enjoy her company as well."

"I don't even think she warmed up to me that fast."

"Well we both know I'm nicer than you."

Thor chuckles at the look he receives from the man. 

.

It’s Wednesday morning and Kala is supposed to have left for school. Instead, Thor finds her hiding under a blanket on the couch.

“Should you not have already left?"

She grunts in response, burrowing deeper into the sofa. 

"Are you sick?"

"No."

"Are you injured?"

"No." 

Her voice sounds off. He can tell something is wrong. 

"Then what troubles you? I am not capable of reading minds." He doesn't mean to push, but he's pretty sure he'll be in trouble with his teammates if he doesn't get her off to school. It was his and Bruce's one job today as the rest of them left to deal with Fury earlier. 

"My mom called," she says after a moment. 

Thor blinks. "Your mother?" 

"I don't know how she got my number but she called. She said....she said her and my father have been talking and they want to see me. Maybe make permanent arrangements."

He doesn't know what to say to that. 

"I don't want to see them," Kala says.

Thor sighs, sitting on the edge of the couch next to her. "I don't think your fathers' would allow it. None of us would." 

And really, they wouldn't. After Kala had headed to bed the previous night, the other avengers had filled him in on the situation. There was no way those people would have anything to do with her. Not as long as he and his hammer had anything to say about it. 

"But what if you can't do anything about it?"

Thor knew she had a point. They were her biological parents after all. They could, potentially, get in the way of the impending adoption. As much as they all hoped it wouldn't happen. The situation could get messy. 

"You shouldn't worry about that. We'll deal with that if it comes to it," he reassures her. "But for now, since you're already late, how about we play- what do you Midgardians call it?- hooky? We won't tell the others."   


Kala pulls the blanket down to look at him. 

"Really?"

He nods. He wasn't going to make her go when she was this anxious. "I hear Star Wars is more fun than math anyways." 

"What about Uncle Bruce?"

"I'm sure Banner can be persuaded."

"Okay."

.

Bruce, in fact, needed no persuasion. 

After listening to Thor and taking one look at Kala, he called in to her school. 

The three of them have been camped out in the living room since, declaring today a Star Wars marathon day. Kala who loved the movies, and Thor, who has never seen them before, were completely engrossed in the film. Bruce pretended to pay attention but was discreetly messaging back and forth with the others about the new development, and keeping a close eye on Kala. 

The poor thing had just managed to start feeling better and get into a semi normal routine and now this. It wasn't fair to her. 

And like Thor said, there was no way he was going to let anyone take that kid away from Steve and Bucky. 

A sudden hiss startles him out of his thoughts.

Catsby, apparently having had his fill of trying to murder Lucky, had wandered into the the living room and hopped up onto Kala's lap. Thor carefully scoots to the other end of the couch. The gray beast curls up, purring contentedly as Kala strokes him. 

Why the hell did they let her keep that cat? It's a menace to society. 

But, he muses, if all else fails, they could offer up her mother and father as sacrifices to the cat. 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The Great Catsby is real and is the great and terrible ruler of our household


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the slow updates! :(

Kala has a routine. A very good routine that she likes and has no desire to change.

Rarely does she stray from it. 

During the week at 5:30am she wakes up, feeds the cat, eats breakfast, and showers. Exactly in that order, no exceptions. All four activities completed by 6:15am on the dot. Not a minute before or after. She plays with the cat, cleans the dishes from breakfast, looks over her homework, takes her medicine, and packs her bag for school. This is completed by 7:15am. Then someone, often Bucky or Steve but not always, drive her to school with a quick stop at her favorite little coffee school. She arrives at school at 8:15am and waits for classes to start. 

Seven hours of struggling through her classes and hating the school she tried so hard to get into later, she is picked up, usually by Happy this time. They get home between 4:15 and 4:30 where she lies and says school was great. Usually she does homework then dinner then spends time with her family, but it can also go family time, dinner, then homework on certain days. That doesn't bother her too much. After that free time, then bed. 

That's it. That's the weekday-school year routine. 

No exceptions unless there is A) a life threatening emergency and no help is available save her and/or her family, B) spiders have risen up and decided to take over the world, in which case all current schedules would be forgotten due to her hiding in a bunker for the rest of her life, or C) Jesus has returned because that would be kind of interesting and not something Kala would want to miss. (And maybe the days when she felt too sad to get out of bed. But those are becoming less frequent.)

But as far as Kala can tell today, a regular Monday in December, there are no emergencies, humans still retain their rightful place in the human-arachnid hierarchy, and Jesus is nowhere to be found. 

So there is no real reason for her to be this far off her routine. 

It began this morning when Jarvis woke her up. 

"Miss, might I suggest getting out of bed? It is nearly time for you to leave for school." 

"Huh, wha?" she had said, still half asleep. 

"It is currently 6:45am. You are supposed to leave in half an hour."

It took a minute for the AI's words to sink in, but when they did, she screeched, jumping out of bed and stumbling into the shower. She was done and dressed in record time and speeding to the elevator, grabbing her bag along the way. 

Once she go to the ground floor, she froze. It wasn't her dad or her pops, or one of her aunts or uncles. It wasn't even Happy who was waiting for her. It was a stern faced older man who looked like he wanted to be anywhere else but where he was at the moment. 

"Who are you?" she asked.

"Apparently I'm supposed to drive you around today. We need to get going if we're going to be on time." His tone was short and clipped. Very unfriendly. 

"B-But where are...?"

"I don't know. But if you would like to get to school on time we really should be leaving."

Kala didn't ask anything after that and wordlessly followed him downstairs to the car, wondering where everyone else had gone. It wasn't like them to disappear without telling her first. 

The drive to school was unpleasant. No conversation. Just complete silence. Kala literally felt the displeasure rolling off the guy in waves. He hadn't wanted to be there. She didn't even ask him to stop at the coffee shop like she normally did. She was too afraid of what his reaction would have been. 

She arrived at school late, due to his taking a weird route and driving below the speed limit. Which meant she had to stop in the office with the secretary that always sneered at her when she came in to get a late pass, then go to her math class late and have her teacher harshly scold her for being late and forgetting her homework in front of her classmates. Which is always awesome. Not. 

The rest of the day didn't go much better. 

Julian, who had unfortunately followed her from middle school to high school had been at his worst today. Slamming her locker shut when she opened it, tripping her on the stairs, making her fall face first into her lunch tray. Yeah, it had been one of those days.

So by the time the last bell had rang, she had been more than ready to get into the car and go home.

If the car had been there, of course. 

Mr. Angry Face decided not to show up and no one else was answering their phone. So she was on her own. Fantastic. 

Which brings her to the present moment. Late in the evening, just stumbling through the door, tired, hungry, and feeling kind of anxious without the meds she forgot to take this moment. Kala honestly wants to just sit down on the floor and cry.

Fuck Mondays. 

"Jarvis, where are Dad and Pops?" 

"Captain Rogers and Sergeant Barnes are not home."

She blinks. What did Jarvis mean they weren't home? They're supposed to be home.

"When will they be back?"

"I cannot answer that question. The entire team was called away for an assignment of unknown length early this morning while you slept."

"All of them?"

"Indeed. Miss Potts and Mr. Hogan are also out of town for the moment. However, if you need anything, Miss Potts has told me to inform you that Colonel-"

"No. No. It's fine Jarvis. I'm fine."

"If you're sure, Miss." 

Oh Kala is sure, alright. Sure that in this moment she is not fine in any way, shape, or form. Completely, not fine. She doesn't know if she wants to scream, cry, yell, or throw her book bag across the room. 

She totally does not have a mini tantrum and do a little of each. She does not. Kala especially does not find the nearest small space to crawl into and sit with her favorite blanket wrapped around her, leaning forward slightly before rocking backwards, gently touching the wall with her back before repeating the motion, after said tantrum.

Kala used to get yelled at for doing 'weird stuff' like this all the time. But this 'weird stuff' made her feel slightly better so sue her. 

.

She must have been sitting there for a long time, ignoring any any attempt made by Jarvis to get her attention, because the next thing she knows there's a strange person crouching in front of her, no doubt summoned by the AI to check on her. 

"-id. Kid! You alright in there?"

She jumps, pushing back into the wall, eyes wide. She didn't even hear him come in. 

Kala can say for certain that she has never met this man. He's tall, dark skinned, and still dressed in his military uniform. Either just getting home or getting ready to ship out she imagines. He's sitting in front of her, hands up where she can see them, probably trying to look less threatening. 

"There you are," he says with a smile, "I was starting to get worried. You weren't responding to anything."

She does that sometimes. 

"Can you tell me what's going on? Jarvis seemed pretty insistent I get here ASAP."

What's going on? A lot has gone on and is going on. She woke up late, she didn't eat, school sucks, poor Catsby didn't get breakfast today (which could explain why Lucky wasn't at the door to greet her like usual. Catsby could be digesting Clint’s dog as they speak) and she really, really, really, wants her dad. She loves her Pops too but she kind of wants her dad right now. 

But can she say any of that right now?

No.

She may have temporarily lost the ability to form words right now. They were there, but they didn't want to come out. Talking takes a lot of effort and she is exhausted right now. 

"That's cool. We don't have to talk."

Good, cause she didn't want to. 

"I'm James Rhodes. Tony's friend? He might have mentioned me." 

He did. A lot actually. These two should just kiss and get it over with already. Tony's love for his "Rhodey-Bear" is adorable. 

"You can just call me Rhodey."

Noted. 

They sit in silence, looking at each other. Rhodey still has a pleasant smile on his face. He's keeping his distance, not making any move to try and get closer to her. Kala appreciates this. She doesn't want him to touch her. 

"Do you think you want to try and move to the couch? It might be more comfortable?" 

She shakes her head. She likes her spot, thank you. 

"Alright. That's fine. I'm gonna go order dinner, though. Jarvis said you haven't eaten today and your dads will straight up murder me if I don't feed you."

Murder? Unlikely. Maim? Possibly. 

"Is there anything I can get you right now? Do you need anything?"

Kala shakes her head. 

"Cool. I'll just be in the living room if you need me. Okay?"

Kala doesn't reply this time, but he doesn't seem bothered. At least, he's acting like he's not bothered. If Kala walked into a room to find a weird, silent girl, huddling in the corner she would be more than a little nervous. It wasn't the most normal thing. But Rhodey was taking it in stride. Either he really was that great of a dude, or her had been warned about her beforehand.

Probably the later.

.

She's not sure how much longer she stays in her little spot, but when she emerges from her table cave it's dark outside and there is a plate of Chinese food with a sticky note with her name on it on a stool, a few feet from where she had been hiding.

She takes a few steps towards it, pausing to look into the living room. True to his word, Rhodey is still sitting in the room, glancing from his phone to the TV and back. He doesn't seem to notice her. 

Slowly, she inches towards the food, hoping to quickly snatch it and retreat to her room, but she's never that lucky. 

"Feeling better?"

His voice startles her so much that she nearly drops the plate. 

Regaining her composure, Kala nods. She was doing a little better, but still not really wanting to talk. 

"Good."

In an effort to avoid more interaction she quickly makes a break for the elevator, ignoring Rhodey's protests from the living room. Sorry, man. She's just not feeling it tonight. 

.

Kala finds Lucky hiding under her bed.  

The big golden retriever comes charging out, nearly knocking her over. 

She makes a noise of protest, trying to get him to calm down.  How long has he been under there? She hopes he didn't pee somewhere. Now that she thinks about it it, how did he even get on this floor? He fell asleep on the common floor and was still there when she left this morning. 

But when trying to escape Catsby, the people and animals in this tower did strange things. 

Kala still doesn't understand what they all did to make her sweet baby so angry. Catsby really is a good boy. He's always so sweet with her. 

Hm.

.

It's almost two in the morning. 

Long past the time she's supposed to have gone to sleep. She gets up at 5:30 in the morning after all. Although she doesn't know why she thought this part of her routine would go as planned when the entire day had been a complete shit show. 

Kala lays in bed, staring at the ceiling, resigned to the fact that sleep isn't going to happen tonight. Lucky is curled up on her feet, and Catsby purrs on the pillow next to her head. 

She sighs. She couldn't call her parents, or anyone else. Rhodey was here but that would be...awkward. Especially after she completely blew him off. Jarvis was okay, but talking to an AI about your feelings wasn't always helpful. Though the J-meister did try his best, bless his virtual heart. So that left only one thing to do. Kala just hopes he won't be angry about her calling in the middle of the night. 

The phone rings twice before he picks up.

"Kala!" Peter's voice rings out, surprisingly cheerful for this time of night. "What are you doing up?"

"Hi," she mumbles. 

He pauses. "Is everything okay, Brooklyn?"

"No."

"Whatsa matter? Did Clint throw your cat out of the window again?"

And just like that, everything comes tumbling out. 

"My alarm didn't go off. No coffee. School is....school is bad. Everyone left. I want dad. And my mom is-" she can't finish that thought. 

"Your mom...?" Peter prompts.

She starts tapping her fingers nervously. "My mom keeps calling."

"Kala-"

"She wants me to go with her."

"Kala that's not going to happen."

"She said she's sorry and that my father is sorry and they want me to give them another chance."

"I'll web them."

Kala blinks. "Did you say 'web them'?"

"I mean I'll end them! End them. Sorry, it's been a long night. My brain isn't working. But listen. Your sperm and egg donors are not going to see you. No one is going to let that happen, okay? You're never going back to them. I promise."

"You can't make that promise."

"I totally can. Because you're not going back there. Hey, can you unlock your window?"

Kala's jerks up in and bed and looks to her window. Sure enough, there's Peter on her window ledge. First of all how. Second of all, Bucky's "there's a boy near my child" senses were probably going haywire wherever he was. And third of all, she's wearing Scooby Doo pajamas. How embarrassing is that?

"Miss Kala, Mr. Parker appears to be attempting to get in your window."

"I can see this, Jarvis," she says, getting up and going over to the window, unlocking it. 

Peter slips inside, a goofy grin on his face. "Hey!"

"What are you doing here, Peter? You know my dads will freak if they find out!"

"You said they weren't home though?"

"Well they're not, but still!"

"But nothing. You're sad and upset, so here I am. The fact that there's no one hear to put me through a wall just makes this easier on my part."

"How did you even get here so fast? Or climb all the way up here. We're like, so high up." Really high up. What is he, part squirrel? 

"It wasn't so bad. Besides, like I said, my best girl was sad and it's my job to cheer her up."

How dare he come into her room and say those words to her. Who gave him the right to be so...so...ugh! Kala didn't know what exactly he was but how dare her make her feel this warm and fuzzy. She's not sure whether she wants to hug him or punch him. 

"I also brought chocolate."

Hug. Definitely hug.

.

Rhodey comes into her room at exactly 5:30am to wake her up. 

If he sees her perfectly relaxed while cuddled next to a boy who Jarvis identifies as Mister Parker, her boyfriend-not really-but kind of, well, he's the only one who needs to know about this. He could make an exception this once. 

"Jarvis," he whispers, "when Kala wakes up tell her school was canceled."

"Of course, Colonel Rhodes."

.

 

In California, a woman sits in her lawyers office, foot tapping impatiently. 

"Well?"

The man looks up from where he's going on documents. 

"Since you and your ex-boyfriend technically never had your rights terminated, and you're both in good places, I would say your case has a chance." 

She smiles. "Thank you, so much. When can we file?"

"I can start the paperwork immediately." 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The need for a routine, hiding in small places, and not talking is all me. I've noticed that sometimes I project myself on my characters. It gives me a way to talk about things without people laughing at me and telling me to be more normal, I guess. Maybe the reason Kala is more special to me than other OC's I've come up with in the past is because we're so similar. 
> 
> Anyways, enough of my rambling. I hope you liked it!


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And just like that another semester of college is over and I'm free to write for the summer. So hopefully there won't be a lot of long pauses in between chapters over the next few months like there have been lately.

Christmas is nearly upon them and Kala….really isn't that excited.

Being the product of a Jewish sperm donor, an aunt who never celebrated holidays, and a birth mother who abandoned her for the second time around the holiday season, Christmas hasn't really been the most wonderful time of year for her. She doesn't really enjoy it, hasn't had a reason to. So she doesn't celebrate. 

Come to think of it, she’s never really celebrated anything. Never been to a church or temple. Never even thought about God much at all except for the times she’s yelled at him for being an unfair asshole who enjoyed her suffering.

So Kala isn’t really a Christmas person, doesn’t feel Jewish enough to claim that, and was never exposed to anything else.

If she claimed to be anything, it would be the Holiday Grouch who hides in a blanket fort everytime major holidays come around, glaring enviously at the lights, parties, presents, and awkward family get togethers she never got to have, saying mean things and wishing misfortune to all who disturb her.

Yup. Sounds about right.

So when she wakes up on the first day of Christmas break to Frosty The Snowman playing loudly over the speakers in the Tower, her first instinct is to roll over and pretend it isn't happening.

Unfortunately, Clint exists.

"KALA!"

Her door slams open and in struts Uncle Clint, in all his flashing reindeer sweater and elf hat glory.

"Absolutely not." It's too early for this nonsense.

"But Christmas!"

"Isn't even here yet. Go away."

"We just got back yesterday! We didn't have time to decorate before we left. We have to finish. Now chop chop! Get up and help."

She groans. "Ask someone who cares to help."

He pouts. "Sounds to me like someone wants coal in their stocking this year."

"What I am, five? Get out of here before I sick Catsby on you."

Clint flinches, looking around for said cat, relieved when he doesn't actually see the beast anywhere.

"C'mon," he whines. "We have cookies and music."

"You gotta do better than that."

"Tony is trying to convince Barnes to let him make his arm glow."

"....tempting. But no."

"Steve invited Peter."

"..."

Kala pretends like she can't hear Clint giggling while she races around her bedroom, trying to make herself look presentable.

.

There are lights. So many lights.

For a moment Kala is concerned about what the electricity bill is going to look like before she remembers who she lives with.

That Christmas movie with Tim Allen is playing on the TV and music floats down from the speakers.

There’s so many decorations lying around waiting to be put up. It’s like the North Pole invaded Avengers Tower.

They really go all out for Christmas here.

Kala feels bad that she’s not more excited for this.

“Hey, kiddo!”

Bucky is walking to over to her wearing….oh god is that a light up Christmas sweater? Now that she thinks about it, everyone is wearing one. Colorful monstrosities with glowing lights and weird holiday characters on the back. They even have their names embroidered in them.

And he’s holding one that looks like it could be her size.

Hell no.

“I’m not wearing that,” she deadpans.

“If I’m wearing this,” he gestures to his green covered torso with a Santa on the front, “you’re wearing one too."

"But-"

"Christmas sweater. On you, it goes."

"Ugghhhh," she whines, taking the sweater. "I should have stayed in bed."

"But you didn't. And now you have to suffer with the rest of us."

"I hate Christmas."

.

The tree goes up for the first time around 11:30am. It crashes to the floor by 11:35am.

The cause of death?

One Clint Barton attempting to escape Catsby's wrath while Kala sits on the floor, covered in fake snow that the archer dumped on her head.

No one tries to help him.

Not even Lucky, despite his masters pleas. 

Lucky is smart dog. 

.

"You know, I'm not expert on these things. But if you're going to store lights, shouldn't you store them so they don't tangle?" Kala says from her place on the couch where she is doing her best to untangle the mass of cords that she is informed are Christmas lights. "Or you know, hired someone to do this for you? Uncle Tony has money. Isn't that what rich people do?"

Bucky snorts. "That would be too easy. He enjoys our suffering. Here," he says, holding out some that are already untangled, "take these and hang them up. I'll work on yours."

"I'll help," Peter says from Bucky's other side, starting to stand. Bucky had wedged himself between the two of them the minute they say on the couch.  

"You'll sit right there and work on your lights," Bucky says, glaring at the boy.

A brief flicker of panic flashes across Peter's face. "Y-Yes! Yes I will. I will sit here and work on these lights."

Peter quickly sits back down and avoids looking in Kala's direction too much or too long, not wanting to give Bucky an excuse to make him part of the wall.

"Buck! Be nice," Steve scolds from the other side of room where he and Natasha are standing the tree back up. "You promised." He looks at Peter. "Peter, why don't help you Kala with the lights? Ladders aren't her friend."

Bucky grumbles, still glaring at Peter, but doesn't stop him from getting up this time. He carefully skirts around the older man and over to where Kala is climbing the ladder, Thor standing anxiously beneath her.

"Uh, maybe you should let one of us do that?" Peter says.

"No! No. I got this!" she exclaims.

"I think your previous encounters with ladders have proven that you in fact, do not have this," Thor says, looking ready to pull her off the thing himself.

Kala huffs. "You all have so little faith in me."

"I'm gonna have to go with Point Break on this one kiddo," Tony cuts in, "just let us- woah!"

Before she realizes what's happening, Kala is tumbling off the ladder. She closes her eyes, expecting to hit the ground and....nothing. Instead she opens her eyes and finds that she has landed in the surprisingly strong arms of Peter. When did he get all muscly?

They stare at each other with wide eyes. Kala can feel her face getting red. There may have been the sound of a camera going off in the background but she's not sure.

"Uh...hi," she says.

"H-Hey."

Kala isn't sure how long they stay like that. She's disturbed by how comfortable she finds herself in Peter's arm. Bucky, however, has had enough of their little accidental PDA.

"You gonna put her down sometime today?"

Peter flushes and gently puts her down. "You good?" he asks when her feet are back on the ground.

She nods. "I'm good, thanks."

"Good."

They stand there making awkward eye contact while the adults in the room all pretend like they aren't watching the two of them.

Peter gestures to the area behind him. "I'm...I'm gonna go see if Catsby left the closet yet and get the bulbs."

"Okay."

Peter rushes off leaving Kala standing there, face still red. She turns to see everyone looking at her. "What?" she huffs. "What are you all staring at?"

Bruce looks up from the garland he's been putting up. "You two love sick idiots. We've been watching you moon over each other long enough. Just kiss."

"Over my dead body!"

"Shut up Barnes!" Sam says. "The sooner you accept your grandchildren are going to be Parkers, the easier your life will be."

Kala chokes. Peter who is just coming back into the room nearly drops the box he's holding.

"You shut your mouth Wilson!"

"Come over and make me."

"Please! Not in my tower! Take it outside you animals."

"James! Put the bat down!"

Ah yes. What's a holiday without violently attacking your teammate with a bat?

.

“What do you usually do on Christmas?” Steve asks her.

They were currently taking a break from decorating after the tree falling over for the fifth time.

Kala shrugs. “Nothin’.”

“You’ve never celebrated Christmas?”

“Nope. Never done holidays”

Steve frowns. “Never?"

She glances towards the window. "Well this one time when I was seven there was a huge party on Christmas I went to. I don't think it was actually a Christmas party but there were a lot of people having a good time but I got sick after drinking out of the wrong cup so that sucked. And there was a Hanukkah one year but my brothers and sisters hated me -they probably still do, I wouldn't know, we don't really talk but I did run into them once at some store and they ignored me except Jacob who smiled and waved and surprisingly sends me a birthday card every year but still didn't actually stop and talk, weird I know. How did he even get my address? So they probably still don't completely like me- anyways, so I wasn't really allowed to do anything so I kind of just watched from the corner. I'm not sure that counts as celebrating now that I think of it," she rambles. 

Kala isn't sure why all of this came pouring out of her mouth. She never talks about it. But the words just kept coming. 

The living room is oddly quiet after her little spiel. Kala can feel Steve's arm tightening around her and Peter, who is sitting on the floor in front of her, looks visibly upset. 

She looks around and sees everyone else staring at her with looks ranging from incredibly sad to slightly murderous. 

The attention is starting to make her a little uncomfortable. 

Fortunately, Peter, who always seems to know when she's getting a little anxious, tries to lighten the mood and take some of the focus off her. 

"S'okay, Brooklyn," he says, patting her leg, "your holidays won't suck anymore." He pauses, turning to look Bucky straight in the eye before continuing. "We'll come up with fun traditions to pass on to our future children." 

"EXCUSE ME!?"

"Our future children. Your grandchildren, Mr. Barnes. I'm thinking Ben for boy one day."

"Ben is a good name. I like Ben," Steve says, a smile on his face.

Bucky turns to him, a horrified expression on his face. "Don't you encourage this Steven Grant Rogers!" 

"How about Natasha for a girl? I think that's a good name," Nat says, reclining in her chair with a smirk on her face. 

"On Asgard, quite a few girls have been named Thora."

"Ooh, or Tony for a boy. I approve of Anthony Jr. Much more exciting than Ben."

"I hate all of you," Bucky says.

Though he may be hiding a grin of his own when he sees Kala laughing on the other end of couch, looking a little less depressed than she had been when the day started.

Maybe he could tolerate the little punk. For today. 

.

"You're Jewish."

"Hm?"

It's late, the decorations were finally up, Peter left after dinner, and everyone had gone their separate ways for the night. Kala is sprawled out on Steve and Bucky's bed watching The Handmaid's Tale on Hulu. Bucky sits with her, only half paying attention to the show. Steve is still in the shower. 

"You mentioned Hanukkah earlier. I didn't know you were Jewish," Bucky says.

Kala shrugs. "I dunno? I mean, my bio dad is Jewish. My bio mom is whatever. But I wasn't really raised anything. I'm not sure if that really makes me Jewish. I'm just the spawn of Jewish guy. "

"We're Jewish."

She blinks, pausing the show and turning to look at him. "We?"

"Steve and I. We're Jewish. We don't really do Christmas either. Your Pop and I thought it was important to you so we jumped on the bandwagon this year." 

"Huh. I thought Captain America was a good Catholic boy?"

Bucky snorts. "His dad was Catholic. His ma, Sarah, she was Jewish. She raised him. His dad didn't have much to do with his upbringing. But the SSR thought saying he was Catholic would sound better. Captain America wasn't allowed to be Jewish." 

Kala frowns. "That's bullshit."

"Tell me about it."

They sit there in silence for a few minutes longer, Kala starting the show again. She's just getting into it when Bucky speaks again.

"She would have liked you."

"Who?"

"Sarah. Steve's ma. My ma too. They both would have been delighted." 

"Oh." She's not sure what to say. Bucky looks upset. She doesn't know what it's like to go to sleep for seventy years and wake up with everyone you ever loved, including your family, gone. Or whatever happened to Bucky. He doesn't like to talk about it, and Kala really doesn't want to push her dad to talk about something that makes him that upset. 

"So, Hanukkah," Kala says, trying to change the subject. 

"Hm?"

"Hanukkah. What's it about? What do you even do?"

"Oh, well you see, Hanukkah is when-"

And Bucky launches into a detailed explanation of the holiday and what he and Steve used to do with their families, Kala listening intently. 

Maybe the holidays wouldn't be so bad this year after all.

.

Two days later is December 24th. 

Christmas Eve and also, at least this year, the first night of Hanukkah. 

Bucky and Steve had spent the day getting ready and giving the rest of the Avengers, who of course were included, a crash course on the holiday.

For once, the holiday season doesn't hurt. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And finish! I hope you enjoyed. Tell me what you think :)  
> (Also, I'm not Jewish. I did some reading on Hanukkah but was kind of afraid to get something wrong so I didn't go into much detail. For the sake of the story I made the dates for Hanukkah line up with Christmas. I'm not sure of the actual days for this year. Also, if I ever do ever get something wrong, about anything, please feel free to give me a yell and I'll correct it/delete it asap)


	11. Happy birthday to me...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter 11. Hope you enjoy :)

It's only a matter of time before something goes terribly wrong.

Life had been going too smoothly.

See, Kala knows how this works. Something good happens and it seems like it's going to work out, and maybe it does for a little while. But it always ends up falling apart in the end. Nothing good ever lasts. So she's used to planning for the worst. And by the worst she means this happy family thing she's got going on with Bucky and Steve coming to an abrupt end and her having to make a mad dash out the back door.  

She really wants to believe that everything is going to be fine. Wants to stay with Steve and Bucky, the only real parents she's ever known. Kala finally has everything she's ever wanted, and yet this little nagging voice in the back of her head just won't leave her alone.

 _'They hate you,'_ it says.

 _'Shut up,'_ she tells it.

_'It's only a matter of time before they leave you.'_

_"No. They wouldn't do that...'_

_'Are you sure?'_

_'Not really.'_

So this was it, she had decided after moving into the tower. No more after this.

If this doesn't work out, if they end up hating her like everyone else, she's gone.

Done.

No more families. No more getting her hopes up. Nada.

Straight out the door and living on her own for good. She'd done it before. Granted, she had been younger and less experienced which ended up in her getting sent back. But she lasted for a while. And she would last a lot longer this time since she had learned from her previous mistakes.

Kala is ready for the shit to metaphorically hit the fan.

There's been a bag under her bed stashed with her basic necessities and most of the generous weekly allowance Tony insisted on giving since day one. She even had multiple fake IDs and other papers courtesy of a really sketchy guy that lived in her old building that was extremely good at what he did. At a moment's notice, she could be gone.

No one knows about it. Not even Peter.

It's her little secret.

A way to nope out of the situation if things get bad again.

She really, really hopes things don't get bad again. Kala doesn't know if she can take-

"Mreow?"

Kala jumps. Catsby is sitting next to her, his paw on her arm and head tilted to the side. She smiles. This cat. He always seems to know when she's upset.

"It's okay. I'm okay," she says, patting his head gently, "just a little sad."

He regards her with big green eyes much like her own, and lets out a little whine. It sounds almost sad.

"Really, I'll be fine."

He meows again and rubs up against her, like he's trying to comfort her.

"You'll always stay with me, right Catsby?"

The cat stops and turns to look up at her. He stares at her for a moment longer, like he's actually thinking about what she said.

"Mreow," he answers, climbing into her lap and starting to purr.

She'll take that as a yes.

.

He didn't plan on befriending a young human. But here he is, still living in this tower with his small charge.

She's a sweet little thing. Far more fragile and sensitive than she lets on. Always caring about others more than herself.

He shouldn't like her. Shouldn't care this much.

And yet, he does.

Maybe it's because she's one of the first people to be nice to him in a very long time. Or maybe it's because she reminds him of another little girl with green eyes like his who he couldn't protect. Whatever the reason, he's gotten attached to this curly haired child who loves glitter, eats too much rice, and performs one-woman musical numbers in her bedroom at midnight when she can't sleep.  

So he'll stay, and keep an eye on this small human who clearly needs to someone to look after her. Even though she cuddles him half to death and insists on calling him "Catsby". What kind of name is Catsby, anyways?

Nevertheless, he won't abandon her.

.

It's New Year's Eve. 

It's also the day before her birthday.

That's right, Kala Elaine Mulligan is a New Year's baby. Born at the stroke of midnight and everything. She's never much cared, but people seem to think it's special when she tells them. She's never seen the importance of commemorating the day you came out of your mother's vagina. So you're one year older. Whoop de doo.

Kala doesn't like birthdays and plans to spend the entire day and night re-watching Marco Polo on Netflix, ignoring the world around her.

"Unfortunately, I must interrupt your plans for Marco Polo, Miss. Sir is requesting your presence," a computerized voice says.

Damn, she was talking out loud again.

"Yes, Miss. You do have a habit of sharing your thoughts with those around you."

Kala sighs. "How are you this sassy, Jarvis?"

"Well, I was created by Sir."

"Point. Now what does he want?"

"Sir and the others would like for you to join them downstairs."

"Do I have to?"

There's a pause before he speaks again. "I have been informed that if you are not downstairs in five minutes they will be forced to take drastic measures."

Kala scoffs. "Drastic measures?"

"Sir is dialing Ms. Potts as we speak."

"I'm up! I'm up! Don't call Pepper."

Kala loves that woman, but she can be terrifying. That's the kind of woman she aspires to be. The kind that can make a room full of old, entitled men weep and cower in fear. It had been a glorious moment. Kala finally understood why everyone at Stark Industries was scared of Pepper and she vowed to never give that woman a reason to be mad at her. Nope. No thank you.

"Miss Kala, you currently have three minutes before Ms. Potts is summoned."

"Shit. Fuck! I'm going!"

.

Kala sighs and leans back against the wall of the elevator. She's still not sure what they want, but it's probably either bad news or something stupid. She's sure of it.

The elevator dings when it reaches the common floor and the doors slide open to reveal....a dark room? Why are all the lights off? And the curtains closed? Where was everybody? They just called her down and they have the nerve to not even be here?

"Ugh," she groans, stepping off the elevator. "Really guys?"

She fumbles around until she reaches the light switch and flicks it on. "Where is every-"

"SURPRISE!"

Kala nearly falls over in shock, her heart pounding in her chest. "Jesus Christ!"

She has a weak heart as it is. It's not made for surprises like these. Oh, how she hates surprises.

"No. Not Jesus. Just us mortals and one Asgardian I'm afraid. Though if you're disappointed I suppose I could invent a way to turn water into wine."

"Stop being ridiculous, Tones," Rhodey sighs.

Once her heart starts trying to break out of her chest, Kala takes a moment to look around the room. All of the decorations they had worked so hard on the days before had been replaced with black, gold, and silver New Year's and birthday style decorations. A giant banner on the wall with something written on it that looks vaguely like 'Happy Birthday' in sparkly letters. There's even those fancy clear balloons with the glitter inside and a cupcake table. Holy balls.

"What is all this?"

"It's your birthday, silly! Can't you read the sign?" Clint asks, gesturing wildly to the banner she had just been looking at.

Barely. She can barely read it. Words are difficult. Not that she's going to announce that to everyone.

"Oh."

Kala isn't sure how to feel about this. She's never done the whole birthday thing. What does one do at these? Is she supposed to be more excited? Is scaring the crap out of the birthday girl a normal thing? She has no freakin' idea. Suddenly she feels very anxious and unprepared. Her birthday technically isn't even until tomorrow. Aren't you supposed to wait until you're actual birthday?

Is she panicking? She might be panicking.

She really hates being surprised.

Wow, isn't this awesome. People try to do something nice for you and you reward them with an anxiety attack.

Nice one, Mulligan. She's done it again. Why is she even panicking? It makes no sense.

She must have that deer caught in the headlights look on her face because the next minute Bucky is coming towards her, a smile on his face. "Happy almost birthday, kiddo," he says pulling her into a hug. "You okay?" he whispers so no one else can hear.

She takes a deep breath and hugs him back tightly, feeling a little more calm. "Yeah. Yeah, I'm good, dad."

"Good." He pulls away, ruffling her curls. "Let's go enjoy the party, yeah?"

Kala smiles, still feeling a little jittery.

"Okay."

.

On a scale of zero to one hundred, this party is definitely a two hundred.

Though the only other birthday party she's ever been to was her Pop's back in July, so she doesn't have much to compare it to. But it feels like the most amazing thing ever. And there's glitter. Has she mentioned the glitter? Just so much glitter.

Still, it feels a bit awkward to have a whole day dedicated to her. She can't believe they wasted all this time and energy on her.

 _'You don't deserve it,'_ the nagging voice says.

_'Please leave me alone.'_

"You guys really shouldn't have done this," she says for what feels like the millionth time.

She's sitting on the couch with a glass juice clutched tightly in her hand. There's a cupcake on a plate sitting on her lap that she still hasn't eaten because it feels too pretty to eat.

"And I'll say it again, Myshka, we wanted to. Now eat your cupcake."

"But it's so pretty!"

Natasha sighs. "We need to talk about your obsession with glitter. It's not healthy."

"But-"

"Eat. The. Cupcake."

Kala pouts, but does as she's told...for once.

The cupcake turns out to be strawberry cake.

"Strawberry?"

Bucky grins. "Yeah. I figured strawberry was your favorite flavor on account of the time we met-"

She nearly chokes on her cake. "You swore we'd never speak of that again!"

"I lied."

Steve looks confused. "Speak about what?"

If it's possible, the grin on Bucky's face gets wider.

"Well you see, when I first met Kala she was coming up the stairs..."

"James Buchanan Barnes do NOT!"

"Oooh, she used the middle name!" Sam says, grin matching Bucky's, "this has to be good. Continue please."

"And she had strawberries."

"Please kill me," she groans, hands over her face.

Peter pats her back sympathetically, but deep down she knows he's just as eager to hear the story as the rest of them. Traitor.

.

Miraculously, she survives the embarrassing retelling of the Strawberry Incident that was supposedly never to be spoken of again.

Just barely.

She swears them all to secrecy again on pain of death. Kala isn't sure how she'd do it, but she'll end all of them if they ever speak of it again. Peter offered to do the job for her, claiming that he was completely capable of taking on any one of them. She politely declined to have her kind-of-boyfriend-but-not-really fight for her honor against the Avengers.

What did he think he was? Superhuman or something?

The party goes on into the night, and Tony has Jarvis turn on The Ball Drop so they can watch it. A lot of people she doesn't know end up coming. She's not surprised. Tony usually had a New Year's party every year and she didn't expect him to cancel just because it was her birthday. A few of them wish her a happy birthday, including a nice, slightly balding man in a suit who introduces himself as Phil.

"It's nice to finally meet you in person, Miss Mulligan," he says, extending his hand.

She looks at it nervously for a moment. Kala isn't really one for physical contact unless she really, really, likes you. And sorry, but she just met this guy. It doesn't matter how nice he seems, it's just too weird.

Phil, on his part, doesn't seem bothered in the least and folds his hands behind his back.

She appreciates this. Someone finally gets the no-touchy rule.

"It's nice to meet you too," she says. Even though she has no idea who this is and how he knows her. But he seems nice and he wouldn't be allowed in the tower if he wasn't nice. Right? Probably. 

Afterwards, Peter drags her over to meet his Aunt May, who is delighted to finally meet her. Aunt May doesn't exactly get the no touching rule and pulls her into a bone-crushing hug. But she'll let it slide this time for Peter's sake.

"You're so much prettier in person!" she gushes.

"Uh...thanks?"

"Peter talks about you all the time! You two are just so cute."

"Aunt May, please!" Peter interrupts, face beet red.

They manage to escape Aunt May after a half hour of her telling them how adorable they looked only to end up getting sucked into a conversation with a few more people that Peter knew. Some lawyer and his partner, who were both very nice. And a woman who looked slightly tipsy and claimed to only be here for the booze. There are two more people that eventually make their way over. One a tall, dark skinned man who seems to the dating the woman and a blond guy she recognizes from TV.

What's his name? Don Rad? Danny Rend? Rand? Something like that. She's isn't good with names.

They're all older than Peter, but he seems to be good friends with them. Kala wonders why he's never mentioned them before.

_'Because he doesn't care about you.'_

_'Shut up.'_

_'You don't matter. He's with you out of pity.'_

"Shut up!" she whispers, harshly.

One of the lawyers, Matt she thinks, frowns and turns his head in her direction.

"I'm sorry, did you say something?"

"What? No, I didn't say anything."

_'Now they think you're crazy. Good job.'_

_'Please stop.'_

_'A crazy waste of space-'_

Kala jerks suddenly to her feet, startling the people around her.

"Hey, you alright there, kiddo?" the blond lawyer --Frankie? Foggy? Foggy, she thinks-- asks.

But she can't answer. She's suddenly feeling really off again.

By now, all six of them, along with a few other partygoers who happen to be standing close are all looking her, looks ranging from curious to concerned.

"Why don't we just sit down and relax," he tries again, looking nervous.  

"Kala-" Peter starts, but she cuts him off.

"I...I have to go. I gotta find...find..." she takes off before she can finish her thought, ignoring the protests from behind her.

She speeds across the room. Not really paying attention to where she's going, not sure what she's looking for. Kala just wants out. There's too much noise. Too much everything. She's so caught up in her thoughts she doesn't even notice Steve until she slams into him.

"Kala? Sweetheart, what's wrong?"

"I don't know..." her lip starts quiver.

"Hey, look at me," he says, crouching down to be eye level with her. "Did something happen?"

"I want to go upstairs now."

"Kala what happened?" Her Pops looks slightly panicked.

"Please Pops, I...I just wanna go."

Steve regards her for a moment, before sighing. He knows he's not going to get anything out of her. "Okay. Let's get you upstairs."

He stands up, wrapping an arm around her and leading her towards the elevator. As they walk to the elevator she can hear everyone else counting down to the new year. "5. 4. 3. 2. 1. Happy new year!!"

Look at that. She actually made it it fifteen.

Happy birthday to her....

.

Kala can hear Bucky and Steve talking worriedly in the hall.

She ended up in their room for the night. How embarrassing. She's fifteen years old and can't even sleep in her own room.

Wrapped in the weighted blanket that had been a Christmas gift from Bruce and hugging Catsby tight to her chest, she tried to relax and not think about anything that had happened at the party.

God, what was wrong with her?

The voices in the hallway stop and the bedroom door creaks open.

"Still awake?" Bucky asks softly.

"I can't sleep," she mumbles.

There's footsteps and then the side of the bed dips down where Bucky sits.

"How are you feeling?"

"Fine."

"Do you want to talk about it?"

"Not really."

"Kala, we can't help you if-"

"I don't want to talk about it!"

Bucky flinches and Catsby raises his head, meowing in concern.

"Okay. We don't have to talk tonight."

Kala says nothing, just snuggles deeper into her blanket. Deep down she knows behaving this way isn't fair to them. They're just concerned. But right now, she doesn't care. Does that make her a horrible person?

_'You're disgusting.'_

_'I know..."_

The room is silent. Bucky doesn't move from the bed and she can hear Steve hovering in the doorway, not sure what to do. 

A sigh. 

"We're going to go downstairs for a moment and see if the others need any help."

_'Or to see how to get rid of you the quickest.'_

_'...'_

"If you need anything just ask Jarvis and we'll be right back, kay?"

"Kay."

_'Or maybe the won't.'_

She feels the bed shift as Bucky gets up and moves towards the door. It clicks shut behind him and Kala is alone. 

Hugging Catsby a little bit tighter, she finally lets her eyelids start to the close, the events of the evening catching up to her. The cat purrs contentedly, stretching out one paw to pat her head. It kind of feels like he's trying to comfort her. Man, she loves this cat.

But she really hates birthdays.

.

He stays awake long after she falls asleep, purring and patting her head. 

It's been a rough a day for his small human. 

Hopefully the Avengers, or anyone else for that matter, don't make things worse.

He's trying to lay off the murder these days. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Some thoughts from Catsby this chapter...


	12. I've got my ticket for the long way round

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, here we are! It's been one year since I first posted this story. I almost didn't do it in the first place because I thought it would be stupid but I was pleasantly surprised to see that people are actually enjoying it :) 
> 
> Thanks for sticking with me (even during my long unplanned hiatus last summer) and putting up with my terrible updating schedule. Only a few more chapters to go until we're done guys :) 
> 
> .....And then there's part 2.

_"But what if-"_

_"Bucky, we have to stay calm for Kala's sake."_

_"You saw her, Steve! You saw what she was doing. And after what Murdock told us....how can you be so calm!?"_

_"Nothing about her situation is exactly normal, Buck. We both knew that when we did this."_

She can hear her parents arguing in the hallway. They think she's still asleep. 

_"What if it's something serious?"_

_"There were a lot of people. She was probably just overwhelmed. You know how she gets."_

Yeah, she's well aware of how she gets. 

_"Stevie, she was talking to herself."_

Kala never asked for annoying voices that occasionally made it hard for her to function. If she could make it stop she would. It's not her fault. 

_"We don't know that for sure-"_

_"They all heard her! She was panicking and yelling at someone who wasn't there."_

Crazy. Crazy. Crazy. Why is she so fucking crazy?

Steve is silent. He doesn't try to defend her behavior this time. 

A sigh.

 _"It's been getting worse._ _She's hardly sleeping or eating again, that email from her school, and last night....Steve, she went berserk. We had to_ restrain _her-"_ his voice trails off. 

She's sorry. She's really sorry. She won't do it again. 

_"I know, Buck. I know. We should have been paying more attention. In between assignments and dealing with that woman..."_

They don't have time for her. She's an inconvenience. They should have left her where they found her. She wouldn't be surprised if they were all secretly hoping her mother and her filthy rich step-dad took her away. 

_"I don't know what we're supposed to do."_

_"There might not be anything we can do."_

She knows. Knows what's coming next. But she doesn't want to hear it. 

_"What do we do?"_

A pause. Her eye's are starting to burn. 

_"She needs help. Maybe we could find someone or a place-"_

She puts her hands over her ears. She refuses to listen to this anyone. She knew it. She knew it! It was too good to be true. They were getting rid of her. They didn't want her anymore. How could she be so stupid?

How could she trust these people...

The bedroom door opens a crack and Kala rolls over quickly, hiding underneath the blanket. 

"You awake yet, sweetheart?"

She doesn't answer. 

"Kala?"

Silence. 

She hears the door click shut and Steve and Bucky's footsteps retreating down the hall. 

Fuck.

.

It's well into the afternoon when she finally drags herself out of bed. 

She makes it to their living room couch and promptly flops down and resumes her laying position. 

At least she moved though. 

Steve and Bucky join her and quickly give up on engaging her in conversation. She ignores them completely. Doesn't even look at them. 

At some point Steve makes dinner and Bucky sets a plate on the coffee table in front of her.

"Thanks Bucky," she mumbles. 

If she had been looking at him she might have the seen he hurt expression on his face. 

Kala stopped calling him Bucky a while ago. 

.

The next few days pass by in a blur. 

She spends them holed up in her room, not really speaking to anyone or doing anything, just thinking. 

Bucky and Steve come and go. 

The others come and go. 

They must be getting pretty desperate because Peter is actually allowed inside her room while Bucky is home. 

"Come on, Brooklyn. You've haven't been outside for a while. You should come to lunch with Gwen and I."

Gwen. Smart, pretty, blonde Gwen. Kala remembers her. 

_Everything you're not._

In the end, even Peter gives up and goes home. 

Of course he does. 

They all do. 

.

At times his child had been volatile and angry, lashing out at everything and everyone around her, plagued by things that only existed in her mind. But mostly, she had been sweet. A little on the strange side at times, but sweet. 

Labels like 'simple' and 'dangerous' and 'monster' had followed her around. 

He tried to shield her from it, from the whispers and stares.

Even his own family had feared his daughter. 

His mother and brother stood by and did nothing when his father sent her away, forbidding her from returning or him from seeing her. He still remembers her screams...

And now, watching this small human withering away in her room under the impression that no one cared, he couldn't help but think of her, sitting alone in Nifilheim with none but the ghosts of those long dead to keep her company. 

He had failed his daughter. Later, he had failed her brothers. Failed all of his children. 

He will not fail another. 

With a meow, he jumps onto Kala's pillow and curls up near her head, purring and patting her hair gently with his paw. 

Kala sniffs, looking up at him with red eyes. "I love you, Catsby."

He closes his eyes, still purring. 

A familiar feeling bubbles up in his chest. 

No, he could not fail this time. 

.

"Can I go to work with you, today?" Kala asks Pepper one morning. 

The woman nearly drops her coffee in surprise, the others turn to look at her with wide eyes.

She hasn't said a word in over a week, hasn't wanted to leave her room. It took maximum effort just to convince her to come down the communal floor for breakfast today. Of course her asking had shocked them. 

Quickly, the woman schools her expression.

"Sure you can, honey. I have a meeting across town today but you're always welcome," her gaze shifts to Steve and Bucky, "as long as your dads' are okay with it?" 

She glances over at him. The two men are looking at each other, having one of those silent argument that Kala always hated. 

They seem to come to an agreement. 

"Yeah. It's...fine. Of course she can," Bucky says slowly. It doesn't sound fine. But maybe he's just glad she wants to get out of the house for a while? A day of not having to deal with her crazy. 

"Are you sure you're okay with it?" Steve asks, looking between her and Pepper.

"Of course. You know she's always welcome."

That's true. She went to work with Pepper a lot actually when she first moved in and everyone was terrified to leave her alone, even with Jarvis there to see her every move. After school, on weekends, days she didn't go to school. If no one could be there chances were she was somewhere in Stark Industries with Pepper. 

"Alright then."

"Great!" she exclaims, checking her watch. "We should probably get a move on then. Grab your stuff and lets hit the road."

Kala pushes her untouched plate away and slides off the stool. 

Yeah, she's getting ready to hit the road. 

.

In her room Kala looks at the bag of things she usually takes with her to keep herself amused, then she looks at the nearly identical bag she'd hidden under her bed weeks ago. A just in case bag.

For a moment, she hesitates.

Maybe she could pretend that everything was fine. Hope it was going to work out in her favor this time. Maybe...

_It won't work~! It won't work~! They hate you~ Hate hate hate...._

'SHUT UP!' 

She really hates that voice and the friends it sometimes brings with it. They've always been an inconvenience but lately they were getting out of hand. She hates them mostly because they're usually always right in some way. 

There is no other option. 

She drops to her knees and pulls out the bag. Opening it, she rifles through it to make sure she has everything she needs. Satisfied that it does she stands up and slings it over her shoulder.

Kala takes one last look at the room she's called home for the past few months, one last look at the pictures of her and the people she let into her life against her better judgement. The people who may not even miss her when she's gone. 

"Miss Kala, Ms. Potts would like me to remind you that the two of you need to leave in five minutes," Jarvis says, startling her out of her thoughts. 

"Oh, thanks."

A pause. 

"Jarvis?"

"Yes, Miss?

"Even though you're an AI, I've really enjoyed your company. You're a real pal."

"I'm glad my presence has been a source of happiness for you."

"And Jarvis?"

"Yes, Miss?"

"Ah....nothing. Nevermind. I'm just being dumb."

"...is everything alright, miss?"

If Kala didn't know any better, she would say he sounded concerned. Can AI's be concerned? Was he sentient enough to have feelings? She never asked Tony. She should have. Now she probably wouldn't have the chance. 

"Yeah. I'm fine. Everything's fine."

"If you're certain."

She is in fact not fine. Not at all. But at the least the other's would be fine without her. 

"Yeah, I'm certain. Come on, Catsby."

The cat lets out a meow and obediently follows his human to the door. She flicks off the light and closes the door behind her. 

. 

She takes the elevator all the way downstairs to the lobby where she knows Pepper is waiting. 

Kala doesn't stop on the communal floor to say goodbye. 

Not to Bucky who was the first person to actually give a shit about her, or Steve who accepted the little brat his partner brought home without question and treated her like his own. Not to Natasha who stays up late talking about girl stuff with her and always calls her Myshka, her little mouse, or Clint who goofs off with her and always knows how to make her smile. 

Not to Bruce who she can talk to about anything when she's upset and who doesn't judge her for how she feels, or to Tony who gets the whole anxiety and nightmare thing and stays up all night with her in his lab doing science experiments she can actually understand while blasting Black Sabbath. 

Not to Sam who always compliments her artwork and once took her on a secret flying trip with his wings, or to Rhodey who gives really great life advice and didn't think she was weird after her meltdown the night he came home. 

Not to Thor who always entertained her with stories of all his battles and joined her in all her nerdy hobbies.

Not even to Peter.

Peter Parker. 

Her best friend. Her only friend. Something more than a friend. Someone she....

Stop that Mulligan. This is ridiculous. It's not going to work out. Not with the way Steve and Bucky were talking the other day. They were going to send her away anyways. Maybe even give her back to her mom. She had heard them talking to her and her lawyers a few times. 

There is no other option.

She's not just going to sit around and wait for them to get rid of her. Not again. 

This time, she's doing this on her terms. 

"Kala! There you are," Pepper waves from the doorway. "If we hurry we can stop for bagels. I know you didn't eat your breakfast this morning." 

She forces a smile. 

"Sure. Sounds great."

.

They arrive at the building the meeting is being held in just in time. New York traffic is the worst. 

"Alright, will you be okay here until the meeting is over?" Pepper asks from the doorway of the unused office they had been directed to. 

"Yeah, I'll be fine. I have my stuff," Kala answers. 

"Okay. If you need anything-"

"Pepper. I'll be okay. Really."

The woman sighs, smiling softly. "I know. I just worry. I'll see you in a bit?"

"Mhmm."

No. She won't see Kala in a bit. But she doesn't need to know that. 

"Okay." Pepper turns and hurries away down the hall. 

"Bye..." Kala whispers.

.

When Pepper comes back from her meeting two hours later, she expects Kala to be where she left her.

The room is empty.

A secretary stationed at the end of the hallway politely informs the panicking woman that Kala left five minutes after she went to her meeting. 

This will go down as one of the most terrifying moments in Pepper Potts' life. 

Whipping out her cellphone, she makes a call to Tony. 

.

Her phone starts blowing up with messages a few hours after she makes a break for it. 

Thankfully, she had convinced Peter to disable to the GPS that Tony puts in all their Stark phones. So no tracking. But just to be safe, she was going to ditch it anyways. 

She can't bring herself to read any of the messages.

Doesn't want to see anything that's going to make her lose her nerve. 

With a sigh she pulls her phone out of her pocket and makes to drop it in the trash bin next to her, but then a familiar ringtone starts playing. The Doctor Who theme. Kala freezes. She knows she shouldn't, but she can't help it. 

Hesitantly, she flips it over and starts to read. 

_Kala? Where are you!? Everyone is looking for you!_

Another message. 

_Seriously, Brooklyn. Where are you? It's been hours. This isn't like you._

Her phone goes off again, this time a call instead of a text. Peter's name flashes on the screen but she can't bring herself to answer it. She lets it go. 

_Kala please. Answer your phone. I'm freaking out here. Just let me know you're okay._

She shakes her head. Nope. She can do this. It's not going to work out between them anyways. He has his friends and Gwen. Smart, pretty Gwen. Peter will be fine. Steve and Bucky will be fine. The Avengers will be fine. 

And she'll be fine. 

"Mreow?"

She glances down at Catsby, her ever faithful companion. He's nervously rubbing against her legs. 

"Yeah, let's get going, little dude. Whole world ahead of us."

Kala tosses her phone into the garbage and bends down, picking up her cat and cradling him in her arms. "First stop.....wherever this bus is going. I wasn't paying close attention when I bought the ticket." 

Catsby lets out a noise that Kala feels is something of a ' _are you kidding me?'_  noise.

She laughs, and heads over to join the other people boarding the bus. 

_._

By the time night falls most of the people on the bus are sleeping.

The little girl next to her is watching a movie on her mother's laptop, occasionally reaching over and patting Catsby. Kala is thankful he's not in a biting and scratching mood today. The child might have lost her hand. 

Kala recognizes the movie as The Fellowship of the Ring. She's seen in a million times. 

It's the part where Bilbo Baggins is standing up, giving his speech. 

"I, uh, I h-have things to do. I've put this off for far too long," she mouths along with the movie. 

"I regret to announce — this is The End. I am going now. I bid you all a very fond farewell," she continues. "Goodbye."

She turns to gaze out the window. 

"Goodbye," she whispers. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Angst-lord strikes again


	13. Chapter 13

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My updating schedule leaves much to be desired. Without going into too much detail, Kala and I are alike in certain ways and sometimes writing is hard. Sorry for the wait! 
> 
> Hope you like! :)

On a cold January day, Kala Elaine Mulligan and her ever faithful feline companion board a bus in the New York terminal that is Iowa City bound. 

A day and a half later, when the bus finally pulls into the Iowa terminal, an anxious group of people are waiting by the doors. 

She does not get off the bus. 

Five days later, miles and miles away in small Arizona town called Swindon, Ellie Nolan thanks the kind elderly couple who offered her a ride back in Richmond. They had run into her at a Tim Horton's and had felt bad for the poor kid who had been left to fend for themselves. 

At least that's what she told them. 

_Liar liar liar liar liar you're a liar liar lies lies lies_

'Shut up!' 

She had also told them she had an aunt in Arizona who offered to take her in, but didn't have the means to come and get her so Ellie had to get to there herself. As luck would have it, they were traveling the same way. 

"Are you sure you don't want to stay at our place for the night, dear?" Winona asks, glancing at the shady looking motel Ellie had requested to be dropped off at. "We have plenty of room and we can take you to your aunts in the morning?"

Ellie smiles and shakes her head.

"No, it's alright. I wouldn't want to to impose. Thanks so much for the ride though. I'm not sure how else I would have gotten here."

Lies. She had more than enough money tucked away in her bag to pay her way out here. This way had just been cheaper and had less chance of her being spotted on a camera somewhere. 

_They're going to find you~ You're doomed. Doomed. So much trouble. Look at you._

_Pizza is delicious._

_They're coming._

'Just for one night guys. Shut up.' 

"Well, if you're sure then. Take care of yourself. Let's get going, Albert."

"Later, kiddo!" the man says, giving her a cheerful little wave. 

Ellie flinches at the nickname. 

"Yeah. Later."

She watches the car pull out of the parking lot and sighs. 

"Meow?"

Catsby pokes his head out of the sling she bought for him to look up at her. 

She offers the feline a weak smile. "I'm okay, boy. Let's go see if they have a room available, yeah?"

.

There is room available. 

The guy barely looks up from the porn magazine he's looking at. Just asks for his money and tosses a key at her. 

"Uh....thank you?"

"Mhm." He flips a page. 

Well then. 

She has to go back outside and climb a rickety staircase to get to her room. On her way she encounters two people passed out outside of their rooms, one couple arguing loudly and hitting each other, a dude who for some reason is wearing sunglasses at midnight, singing Sweet Home Alabama, and dancing with his stuffed frog, and one guy who pushes her up against the wall and offers her some money in exchange for 'a good time'. Catsby may have jumped out of his sling removed several layers of his face for that while she had vague flashes of something...something happening before....nopenopenopenope nothing, there was nothing therewasabsolutelynothingnothingnothingnothing. Just her overactive imagination at it again. 

Yup. She should have taken Winnie and Al's offer. 

This was a mistake. 

A bottle comes flying and crashes against the wall, narrowly missing her head. Catsby bristles and prepares to attack once again. 

A huge mistake. 

Nice job Mull- Nolan. You've done it again. 

Quickly she unlocks the door and rushes inside, slamming it shut behind her and locking it. Ellie breathes a sigh of relief. 

She is so not leaving this room until the sun comes up. 

_Lock the door. Lock the door. They come inside while you sleep-_

Oh for fucks sake. 

She unlocks and re-locks the door a total of fifteen times before she feels safe. One for every year she's been alive. 

.

"Alright, first things first," she says, tossing her bag onto the bed. "Let's make me less...me."

Catsby tilts his head. 

"Starting with the hair." 

Ka- Ellie had always had long hair. Long curly hair that everyone compliments. Personally, she hates it. Sometimes she wonders why she never bothered to cut it off before. 

Fumbling through her bag until she finds what she's looking for, she takes the scissors into the bathroom that she's not sure has seen a proper cleaning since at least 2008. Standing in front of the mirror she runs her fingers through her long locks. 

"Bye bye, hair."

And she cuts. And cuts. And cuts. 

It's....exciting. 

She feels giddy all of a sudden and Ellie starts giggling uncontrollably. "Snip, snip!"

When she's done her curls are cropped close to her head in a less than neat fashion. Ellie smiles. She looks so different. She bets she can make herself look even more different. Become completely different. 

A completely different person.

With none of Kala Mulligan's problems. 

She never has to go back if she doesn't want to. 

Ellie can have a do-over. Ellie can be anyone she wants to be. 

And that person is not Kala. 

Ellie practically skips back over to her bag and rummages through it again for the bleach and hair dye she bought back in Richmond, humming to herself. For some reason she feels really fantastic in this moment. 

When was the last time she felt like this?

.

He watches his human charge with worried green eyes from his spot on the pillow. 

Kala, or Ellie, as she had taken to calling herself, had been acting increasingly erratic since their departure from New York. Her behavior unpredictable, the voices she heard coming more frequently, doing weird things she hadn't done before.

It is starting to scare him a little. 

Perhaps he shouldn't have let her do this. 

She is just a child after all.

A child who probably should not be making decisions for herself at the moment. Not in this state. 

It might have been smart to find a way to alert that oaf of a brother of his to his presence and Kala's current state of mind. Perhaps it could have prevented this. But alas, he is still stuck in this form and his magic is minimal. For now at least. 

But he will do what he can to shield her for now. 

.

Instead of sleeping, Ellie accidentally spends the whole night giving herself a make-over and coming up with her cover story. 

Long black hair now short green curls. Why green? She doesn't know, she just felt like it.

Her green eyes hidden behind brown contacts and a pair of fake glasses. 

Hours spent on Youtube watching people applying make-up paid off and she was able to make her face look a little less like Kala Mulligan's. 

When she was done, the awkward girl from the bad part of Brooklyn was gone and completely replaced with Ellie Nolan. The slightly boyish looking, green haired person staring at her in the mirror. Almost completely unrecognizable. 

Perfect. 

She had also decided that she was from Iowa and her family had kicked her out. Now she had decided to settle in Arizona far away from her family and was in need of a job ASAP. 

Nothing to complicated. Completely believable. 

Now, all she had to do was figure out what to do next.

.

Ellie gets a job in a bar. 

As crazy as that sounds. 

She's fifteen, six years under the legal limit, but tells the owner of the bar, Earl, that she's eighteen, hoping that she can get at least some kind of work. He raises and brow and gives her a knowing smile, but doesn't call her on her bullshit. 

"Well," he begins, "I could use some help around here. We're a bit short staffed. It's just me, Richard, and occasionally Adam whenever he decides to show up."

She lets out a breath that she hadn't realized she'd been holding. 

"Thank you! Thank you so much! I really need this job."

He chuckles as he finishes wiping out the glass he's cleaning. "It's no problem, really. Always happy to help. And you'll be helping me out too."

A pause. "Say. Where are you living again?"

"Oh, just a motel for now. I don't have a place yet," she says.

Earl gets a strange look on his face that Ellie can't decipher. A little warning bell starts going off in her head. She shoves those feelings down quickly. This is her new boss. She can't get freaked out and run now. No one else would hire her. And the money she saved will only last so long. 

"You could always stay here."

Ellie blinks. "Here?"

"Yeah," Earl says, smile spreading across his face. "I have an apartment upstairs and I got an extra room. You can have it, if you want. As long as you're okay with Richard occasionally staying over," he says, gesturing to the man wiping down tables in the back. 

As if hearing his name, Richard lifts his head and smiles at her. It gives her the heebie jeebies, if she's being honest. 

"It's probably a lot nicer than that motel you're staying in."

"I shouldn't..." she says, a little wary. 

He smiles. "You're in a new town, all by yourself. There's not many places renting out here right now. Well, no decent places. I would feel better if I knew you were some place safe. And it's right upstairs from work which makes things easier." 

Ellie shouldn't. She really shouldn't. 

But a place to live does sound nice. Nicer than that motel she's been staying in. And Earl does seem really nice. Not many people had been nice to her. He smiled at her, didn't yell at her to get out, gave her a free meal and offered her a job and a room. No, Earl is nice. She just met him but she really likes this guy. Not many people would be concerned about a kid they just met. 

It reminded her of Bucky-

No. Stop that. Don't go down that road. That's over. 

"So, whaddaya say, kiddo?"

Ellie thinks about it for a moment, before making her decision. 

"Um. Sure. It sounds great. I'll take it."

"Great!" If possible, his smile gets wider. "Let's show you around the place and give you your duties. You can go and bring your stuff back later."

"Okay." She gets up to follow him, pushing down any reservations she had about this situation. "Do you like cats?"

.

He is not happy with this arrangement.

When Kala came bursting into the hotel room announcing she got a job and a place to live, he was somewhat happy.

It would give her life a little stability. Stability would be good for her. 

However that happiness quickly faded when she set him down in their new apartment that was also occupied by a middle aged man who seemed too interested in his human for his liking. When the man tried to pet him he hissed and tried to claw him. 

"Catsby! Be nice!" she scolds him, swatting him away gently. 

He continues to hiss and growl, not liking the vibe he was getting from the man. 

"That's a mean little thing you got there," Earl says, cradling his freshly clawed hand.

He'll show him mean. The man hasn't seen anything yet. 

"Yeah. I'm sorry about that. He can be kind of grumpy."

"Hmph. Well, I'm sure we'll all learn to get along eventually." 

No they most certainly would not. Over his cold, dead, corpse. 

He needs his original form back. 

Immediately. 

.

It's long past midnight in New York, but Bucky is still awake.

He sits on the window seat in the bedroom he shares with Steve, a drink clutched tightly in his hand. It had been three weeks.

Three weeks, and his daughter is still out there somewhere. 

He doesn't know if she's hurt or scared or sick. If she has someplace warm to sleep or if she's eaten. He doesn't even know if she's still alive. What if it isn't a runaway case like they think and someone took her? If anything happens to her-

"Bucky." 

He startles as Steve slides into the place behind him. 

"Steve, you should be sleeping," he mumbles, leaning back into the other man's embrace. 

"I could say the same thing to you."

"I can't Steve. What if we get a call-"

"Bucky-"

"I can't. I just..." his voice breaks. "Steve I can't. What if something happened to her?"

"Kala's a smart girl, Buck. She'll be okay until we find her."

"But what if we don't?"

Steve squeezes his hand. " _We will._ I swear to you, that we will. We'll find her and bring her home. And then confine her to this tower until she's thirty."

A slightly hysterical laugh escapes Bucky as he squeezes Steve's hand back. 

Just until she's thirty? No.

He's never letting her out of his site again.

Never. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And here we have Kala Elaine Mulligan. Reigning queen of poor decision making. 
> 
> Reviews are appreciated!


	14. Message from the Author

Hey guys!

It's been a while. Life has been strange and difficult and I just started at a new university too so....yeah. It's been a little rough lately. 

BUT. I have not abandoned this story. I finally have some free time and the oomph to actually sit down and write. I'm almost done with chapter 14 and it should be up either later today or early tomorrow morning (EST time). 

Thanks for putting up with my unreliable self and I'm really sorry about the wait! 

-A


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